Contents
Introduction
1 Glossary
2 Things That Haunt Me
3 Babysitters from Hizznell
4 Weird Science (Minus Kelly LeBrock)
5 Wednesday Addams in Barbietown
6 Tea with Dracula
7 I Am a Gay Man Trapped in a Woman’s Body
8 Everybody’s Gotta Start Somewhere
9 Obsessed/Detest
10 A Letter to My Crappy One-Bedroom
11 My Vagina Is the Holland Tunnel
12 My Top Ten Most Blush-Inducing Moments of Motherhood (Thus Far)
13 Proposal to Essie Nail Color: New Names!
14 Right Address, Wrong Apartment
15 Thirty-four and Holding
16 Tumor Humor
17 Putting the Ass in Aspen
18 Spinagogue
Acknowledgments
Copyright
About the Publisher