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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Contents
Introduction
100 Ideas
1. Embrace Your Need and Right to Grieve
2. Mourn Your Loss
3. Use the Words That Feel Right to You
4. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 1. Acknowledge the Reality of this Loss
5. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 2. Embrace the Pain of the Loss
6. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 3. Remember What Happened
7. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 4. Develop a New Self-identity
8. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 5. Search for Meaning
9. Understand the Six Needs of Mourning: Need 6. Receive Ongoing Support From Others
10. Allow for Numbness
11. Consider Yourself in Emotional Intensive Care
12. Know There is No Order to Grief
13. Keep a Journal
14. Share the Experience of the Miscarriage Itself
15. Find Ways to Make Peace with the Disposition
16. Be Compassionate with Your Partner
17. Be Loving toward Your Children
18. If You’ve Had Infertility Problems, Know That this Will Complicate Your Grief
19. If You’ve Had More Than One Miscarriage, Seek Extra Support
20. If You or Your Partner Were Ambivalent about the Pregnancy, Know That this Can Complicate Your Grief
21. Cry
22. Designate a Time to Mourn Each Day
23. Understand When Others Say, “I’m Sorry”
24. Take Time off Work
25. If You Feel Guilty, Find Ways to Express It
26. If You Feel Angry, Find Ways to Express It
27. If You Feel Envious, Find Ways to Express It
28. If You Feel Afraid, Find Ways to Express It
29. If You Feel Disappointed, Find Ways to Express It
30. Just Be
31. Open Your Heart
32. Remember: One Day at a Time
33. Understand What It Means to Be Traumatized
34. Make an Inventory of Survival Strategies
35. Relinquish Control
36. Be Patient
37. Let Go of Destructive Misconceptions about Grief and Mourning
38. Wear a Symbol of Mourning
39. Know There Are No Bad Days, Only “Necessary” Days
40. Reach out to Others Who Truly Understand Your Pain
41. Believe in Your Capacity to Heal
42. Empower Yourself with Information
43. Move toward Your Grief, Not Away From It
44. Give Attention to Your Relationship
45. Expect to Have Whirlwind Emotions
46. Talk about Grief and Mourning
47. Turn to Ceremony
48. Acknowledge the Multitude of Losses
49. Watch for Warning Signs
50. Identify Someone You Can Count on
51. Set Boundaries
52. Prepare to Answer Uncomfortable Questions
53. Share Your Story
54. Talk to Your Baby
55. Ignore Hurtful Advice
56. Take Care of You
57. Make Sleep a Priority
58. Honor What Your Body Needs
59. Reach out and Touch
60. Trust That You’re Not Going Crazy
61. If You’re Having Dreams about the Baby, Share Them with Someone Close to You
62. Create a Personal Sanctuary Just for You
63. Trust in Yourself
64. Let Go of Tension with a Sigh
65. Protect Yourself From Negativity
66. Learn Something New
67. Find Help Online
68. Remember, Even Rocks Crumble with Too Much Weight
69. Find the Words in Music
70. Find Ways to Honor this Baby
71. Volunteer
72. Tell Someone You Love Her
73. Acknowledge When You Are Feeling Lost
74. Allow for Unfinished Business
75. Simplify
76. Prepare Yourself for the Holidays
77. Demonstrate Your Faith
78. Ground Your Thoughts with a Touchstone
79. Communicate with Your Partner about Your Sex Life
80. Write a Letter to Your Higher Power
81. Don’t Be Caught off-guard by Griefbursts
82. Expect Grief at Milestones
83. Understand the Concept of Reconciliation
84. Get Away From It All
85. Think about What Comes Next
86. Move Your Grief to Gratitude with Yoga
87. Bring in More Light
88. Laugh
89. Take in the Sun
90. Express Your Grief through Art
91. Contemplate the Universe
92. Express Your Child-like Self
93. When and If Either of You is Ready, Talk with Your Partner about Trying Again
94. Reunite and Reconnect
95. Envision
96. Reconfigure Your Life
97. Be Purposeful in Everything You Do
98. Share What You’ve Learned
99. Say Goodbye
100. Embrace Your Transformation
A Final Word
Resources
The Mourner’s Code
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