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Imperial Library
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Index
Contents
Introduction
Into the Woods with Love
Thanksgiving Blessings
Get (Back) Together
Moving In
Sandwiches
The Third Date
To My Next Boss
Bumpy Firsts
Boy King
Irritable Male Syndrome
Office Blues
A True Gentleman
Project Disaster
Barry Franklin
Hold It In
On a Bended, Bruised, Battered, and Broken Knee
Evolution of Masturbating
College Dad
Goodbye, Grandpa Joe
Knock Knock
Climb On
And Your Name Is?
Steak vs. Bologna
Beef—It’s What’s for Dinner
Cloud Nine
Big Carl
Radio Silence
Death Party
Gee Golly Gosh
Chip
I Didn’t Kill My Wife
Healthy Living
Man Scout
Brownies
L’aissez Fritte
Married Rant
Baby Daddy in Prison
Folks in Town
Morning After
Filthy Rich
Fit Loser
Nacho Boyfriend
Emo Gothic Love
Release Those Endorphins
A Little Fresh Air
Robert Before the Interview
Hostage Negotiator
Teacher’s Lounge
For Manifred
About Mom
New Roommate
The Cook
The Orchid
Night Before
A Toast
Nicole
The Newlywed
Bro Vow
Phone Calls
Teeth or Testicles?
Women’s Lib
Tony Joey
Coney Island
Baseball
Three Minutes
The Rise of Everyone, the Fall of Me
Therapy Breakup
Fuck Yes
Let’s Be Friends
Bathroom Smiles
Bored Barista
Craven Saint Todd
Morty Weinberg
Contributors
Acknowledgments
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