Table of
Contents
Introduction
1: Anger’s Terrain—Keeping the Wolves at Bay
What Is Anger and Why Do We Get Angry?
Anger in the Present Day
Monkey See, Monkey Do
The Message Is the Medium
Looking for Reality Checks
The Identity Crisis, or Facing the Double Bind
2: A Different Place or Time
Nature vs. Nurture
Exploring Your Anger Style
Gender Differences
Cultural Factors
Threats to Body—Threats to Soul
Strategize for Survival
Deciding to Change
3: Do I Feel?
Learning the ABCs—Only You Can Make You Angry
Personal Responsibility
Hot Thoughts
Distorted Thinking Patterns
Fight the Good Fight
Anger Management Tools for Dealing with Others
4: Anger and Family Violence
Down Through the Ages—A Quick Trip Through Time
A Good Rule of Thumb and Other Big Ideas
The Twenty-First Century Update
Problems Come and Go in a Cyclic Fashion
People May Wear a Few Different Hats
Take Me to Your Leader
Five Power Trips
Are You in Control or Out of Control?
5: Stress and Emotions
Positive and Negative Stress
External and Internal Stress
Anger Schmanger—Context Is Key
Adaptation and Accommodation—The Way I See It
Back to the Garden
6: Burnout
Welcome to the New Millennium
Who Gets Burned Out?
Red Flags for Burnout
Smokey the Bear
Your Own Worst Enemy
7: Stress: Its Effects on Your Anger and Your Health
Right Brain/Left Brain—It’s Not a Tossup
The Relation of Stress Resistance to Anger
Your Body and Mind Under Siege
Time Is of the Essence
Time Management Techniques to the Rescue
The Four Boxes of Time
Finding Balance
8: Stress-Survival Techniques
Hardiness
The Stress-Management Model
9: Communication and Anger
The Art of Listening
Garble, Garble
The Story of Bruce and Sally
Nonverbal Communication
Proxemics
Lend Me Your Ear
Delivering Feedback
Three Blind Men and the Elephant
Self-Disclosure and Intimacy
Sending the Right Message
Blocks That Don’t Build
10: It’s Down to You: Assertiveness
The Early Years
Styles of Interpersonal Behavior
Assertiveness Techniques
11: Conflict, Confrontation, and Those Nasty People
What Is Conflict, Anyway?
Tricks of the Trade
Putting It All Together
Appendix: More Exercises
Further Reading