CONTENTS

Introduction

Ten things you should always do when you form a group

Prologue: 1985

‘Turned out his cure for jetlag was the biggest line of coke I’d ever seen.’

Part One: Movement

‘One genius and three Manchester United supporters’

‘This is New York’

‘This is a rock band, let’s stick with the guitars and drums’

‘I had a stalker’

Timeline One: April 1980–December 1980

Ten things you should never do when you form a group

‘Anything to keep Rob happy . . .’

‘Feels like I’ve been here before’

Movement Track by Track

Timeline Two: January–December 1981

Ten Best Bass Riffs

‘Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil’

‘Temptaion’ EP Track by Track

‘The noise attracted scumbags like a magnet’

‘But then twatto returned . . .’

‘Marooned in the middle of puke’

‘She went off like a firework’

Power, Corruption and Lies Track by Track

Timeline Three: January–December 1982

Ten Best Hotels in the World

‘Arthur was fucking bonkers . . . I loved him.’

‘OK, pizza’

‘Go and have a holiday, Judas’

Timeline Four: January–December 1983

Ten Best New Order Songs

‘Love is the air that supports the eagle . . .’

‘One look at the books was all it took’

‘We’d made something very special’

‘He went absolutely berserk when he saw the video’

Low-Life Track by Track

Timeline Five: January–December 1984

Top Ten Best People I Never Got to Play With, Sadly

Take us back to Hong Kong, Pedro’

‘It was the highest room-service bill in the history of the hotel’

‘I’ll be writing about that in me memoirs’

‘Go on, go on holiday, you twat’

Timeline Six: January–December 1985

‘The trouble with you is . . .’

Part Two: Brotherhood

‘Just a gnat’s whisker’

image

‘We weren’t really a Smash Hits kind of group’

‘That was how I ended 1986’

Brotherhood Track by Track

Timeline Seven: January–December 1986

Ten Best People I Did Get to Play With

‘My knee was in the video’

‘Make-up wearing, miming bunch of flouncing jessies’

‘I want to work with other people’

Timeline Eight January–December 1987

‘Get it out of your system, darling’

‘Jetlag, Pedro’

Technique Track by Track

Timeline Nine: February–December 1988

‘It’s a New Order gig, this, not a Revenge gig’

‘This was the tour that broke us’

‘Turns out the chiropodist was a New Order fan’

‘Off my face – every day – repeat till fade’

Timeline Ten: January–December 1989

‘Gascoigne, will you fuck off!’

‘Shit concept, shit music, shit everything else’

‘We are having to remove you for your own safety’

The Stone Roses deserve a chapter to themselves, so here we go

Timeline Eleven: January–December 1990

Ten Most Interesting Medical Problems I Got Working in a Band

‘In among all this madness . . .’

Timeline Twelve: January–December 1991

‘There was trouble brewing . . .’

Timeline Thirteen: January–December 1992

‘Blink and you miss us’

Timeline Fourteen: January–December 1993

Top Ten Bass Cab Messages

‘We needed binoculars to see Noel Edmonds’

‘Marry in haste, repent at leisure’

‘Judas’

‘I wish I could thank that cleaner’

‘Fingers of God’

‘Thick as Thieves (Like Us)’

‘Back to the Real World’

Get Ready Track by Track

Timeline Fifteen: July 1994–November 2000

‘A crowd of adoring Goths’

Timeline Sixteen: April–December 2001

‘Grandmaster Flash being marched out by a copper with a machine gun’

‘The idea was that I’d hide in the bushes’

‘Refuelling the whole time’

‘Something had got corrupted along the way’

‘The clarity can be blinding’

‘The rift widened . . .’

‘I should have smelled a rat’

Timeline Seventeen: January 2002–October 2007

Epilogue

List of Illustrations

Acknowledgements

Picture Credits

Bibliography

Index