The 4-Week Mindset Plan at a Glance
Week 4: Thinking Outside the Box
Here, in detail, are the mental tools as they are prescribed in the 4-week plan. Each day is designed to address and improve your 10 deserve level scores to create maximum success, happiness, and balance. You will find some suggestions more challenging than others—that’s normal, but don’t skip them. The exercises that take the most effort are often the most beneficial. Each activity serves a specific purpose, with the aim of building a mind that you want to live within. You are creating a powerful relationship with yourself, where you’ll learn to fully understand that you control your thoughts and do not have to let them control you.
Each day’s mindful practice should take roughly ten minutes. Only do one day’s prescribed exercises. These exercises are designed to be absorbed over a full twenty-four-hour period to deliver maximum benefit.
Ideally, you’ll want to practice the day’s exercises in the morning and then repeat them in the evening, but feel free to add a midday session. The more you keep these positive strategies in the front of your mind, the better.
At the end of each day, I want you to take a couple of minutes to take a daily inventory, or a mental scan, of your 10 deserve level categories. As you bring each category to mind, pause to reflect on how you feel about your deserve level in that area. Then congratulate yourself on a job well done.
Below is a quick review of the 10 brain-boosting tools and how to put them to best use. Here you’ll find a basic description of how to use the tool most effectively.
There is nothing easier. You simply sit quietly and focus on your breath. You can do this anywhere—even while eating, walking, sitting in a meeting, or walking around the grocery store. Here’s a simple way to begin from researchers at the University of Wisconsin: Sit comfortably. Relax and close your eyes. Focus on the flow of your breath at the tip of your nose. If a thought arises, acknowledge the thought and then let it go by gently bringing your attention back to the flow of your breath. Part of meditation is to learn to let thoughts, feelings, and emotions float by like clouds in the sky. So view your mind as the sky, and thoughts, feelings, and emotions as the weather—rain, clouds, wind, sun, etc. The weather comes and goes; it arises, exists, and passes. You don’t need to ride the clouds, get soaked in the rain, or be blown away by the wind. In other words, you don’t need to feel or think a certain way to take the action you want to take toward your goals.
To get the most out of imagery exercises like the ones described in this chapter, it’s key to include all your senses. If you want to relax, for example, it isn’t enough to just see yourself sitting on a sandy beach. You must smell the salt from the ocean, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, and hear the waves crashing on the beach. By doing this, you fully immerse yourself in the mental picture you are painting, so your brain actually believes you are at the beach and you trigger a relaxation response. Your heart rate, pulse, and breathing slow down.
Set a timer for three minutes. Close your eyes and create a mental picture of yourself having achieved all your goals and dreams. Picture yourself filled with happiness, confidence, abundance, prosperity, peace, and a sense of purpose. Allow yourself to not only see it but really feel it. See yourself at your ideal weight and feeling strong and healthy. Now, as you look inwardly at this strong, confident person, feel the energy of this ideal you flooding into the actual you. Feel your chest lift, feel yourself growing more self-assured, full of passion for your life, full of respect and love for yourself: you are graceful, capable, and strong. Imagine your successful environment. Bring an image of your ideal living space into mind. What does it look like? What is the quality of the light? How does it make you feel? Smell how fresh, soothing, and clean it smells. Imagine your family and friends. Hear them laughing and sharing loving words with you. Continue to expand this visualization into all areas by imagining your ideal workspace, career, finances, hobbies. See yourself happily doing, hearing, smelling, seeing, and feeling all your dreams and goals. Stay with this inner vision for as long as you can, and make it feel as genuine as possible. Throughout the rest of your day, periodically call this visualization back into your mind as you go about your normal activities. Pause and remember that you are this confident, worthy person. Similarly, if a snag arises in your day, pause and remember the self-assured, graceful, worthy person you are. The more you repeat this exercise, the more your brain will rewire to make you into the person you were always meant to be.
In the box below you’ll find basic rules for keeping a journal. For the full background on how writing can help you boost your mind power, see here.
Journaling Basics
The Rules
Plan on writing for roughly ten to fifteen minutes each morning and again each evening, focusing on insights, ideas, and struggles. Write freely, forgetting about spelling, grammar, and punctuation, and write as quickly as you can for the full time you’ve allotted. Don’t let your hand stop moving, and don’t allow your inner critic to surface. Everything you write is exactly as it should be.
In the Morning
Take a few minutes to review how yesterday went, enjoy what went right, contemplate what you could have done better, and acknowledge that this is a new day. I like to think over anything that knocked me off center, shifted my mood, or made me struggle with energy, feelings, or food cravings. I also like to review how I slept and jot down any dreams I remember. Next, take a few minutes to think about your plans for the upcoming day. Write out a little to-do list, then think about how you can address your day with a good attitude and an optimistic spirit. End your writing session by writing down three intentions for the day. I often write that I will eat for optimum health, I will get in a great and energetic workout, I will focus on releasing any tension and anxiety that arises, and I will make positive connections with everyone I encounter.
At Night
You can also use writing at the end of your day to review what and how you did. This sort of self-reflection helps me stay centered; I feel like I put the day to rest, and in the morning I can start again with a clean slate. This cultivates self-awareness about patterns of eating, feelings, and energy. I know that if I don’t take good care of myself, I won’t be any good to anyone else.
“I Am in Charge of How I Feel and Today I Am Choosing Happiness.”
Think of affirming statements as self-talk that programs you for what you want in your life. When you practice affirmations, you are choosing to focus on what you value for yourself. Just as you are influenced by the messages you receive from other people and the outside world, you are also influenced by what you say to yourself.
When you first try out an affirmation, you may experience some arguing in your head. This is a normal response when you are used to an attitude of failure and negative thinking. This is your brain creating negative mental noise; you can choose to buy into it or not. So if you say, “I am quickly reaching my healthy weight,” and you find yourself thinking, “I’ve always failed at weight loss,” you can respond, “That is the way I used to feel, but it is now an outdated and unhelpful belief. I am not my thoughts, I choose my thinking, and today I choose to love myself.” You observe the negative thought without engaging it. You can also create a positive affirmation out of a negative thought, so the thought above becomes “I have learned to be successful at weight loss.”
When you wake and when you are getting ready for bed are ideal times to say affirmations. At the beginning of your day, an affirmation will help set the tone for your day. Before you retire, affirmations help focus your mind on the positive as you drift off to sleep, which can help your dreams send powerful positive messages to you as you slumber. You can also practice affirmations while stuck in traffic, as you stand in line at the grocery store, during a lunch break, while walking, or even as you sit in a restroom stall. It’s great if you are able to speak the words out loud, but affirmations also work by thinking and feeling them in your mind. Read the affirmation for your day several times. Then close your eyes and repeat it in your mind, and say it out loud to let it resonate. You can also write out the affirmation several times.
When creating affirmations for yourself, always make sure they are in the present tense: “I have perfect balance” instead of “I am going to have perfect balance.” When you express something in the future tense, it stays just out of reach in the future. Always be specific and clear. Finally, keep it positive. Try to avoid words such as don’t, should, bad, or anything that brings up a negative connotation. Take these steps to stay laser-focused on your goals.
Spirituality is interwoven in the mindfulness exercises given in the 4-week plan, but I also encourage you to celebrate and foster spirituality in your own way. Write out spiritual values that speak to you, such as tolerance, love, kindness, honesty, courage, integrity, and grace, and honor these daily. You could say something as simple as this: “May I be honest, authentic, humble, true to myself, kind, loving, and compassionate to others, may I bring harmony, may I be graceful and wise, and may I be of maximum service to myself, my loved ones, and all others.” If you belong to a church or other spiritual group but have let your membership or attendance lapse, make a point to revisit and see if it is helpful to you in moving toward your goals. Ask a friend to go with you to solidify your commitment and allow you to spend quality time with someone you may not have seen in a while. This might involve making a regular trip into nature, listening to spiritual music, or meditating, as well as attending church or temple services. If you are not religious, you can still turn things over or pray to a Higher Power, Higher Self, Enlightened Energy, or Nature.
Look at it this way: each chance meeting you have in a day can provide a small boost in your life. View social interactions as a chance to connect positively with those you come into contact with. This can be a smile and some small talk, lending a helping hand (holding a door open for someone), or letting someone go before you in line. If they don’t thank you, don’t fret. You are responsible for your karma, not theirs. Get even deeper benefits by meeting with a friend or connecting with a loved one at least a couple of times a week. If you are too busy for face-to-face dates, Skype or phone chats will do, but it is important to have physical contact at least once a week with someone you care about.
If you have trouble sleeping, try the following tips to improve your snooze time:
• Don’t exercise within three hours of bedtime.
• Avoid alcohol in the evenings (it might make you feel sleepy, but it actually interrupts sleep).
• Don’t consume caffeine after 2 P.M.
• Check that your medications don’t interfere with sleep.
• Establish a regular bedtime and wake-up time, and stick to it.
• If you nap, keep it to under an hour per day.
• Cooler bedroom temperatures promote sleep.
• Remove or cover lights, glowing screens, or lit displays.
• Use a white-noise maker or a fan if outside noises keep you up.
• Get black-out curtains if daylight or outside lights are an issue.
• Allow only sleep and intimacy in the bedroom; do all other activities in other areas of the house.
Most of us know that music can elicit exhilaration, joy, sadness, and a wealth of other feelings. It can uncover long-lost memories, bring back visions of the past, help us exercise longer and harder than we thought, and ease tension at the end of a stressful day. You can use music to help rebalance your mind and body when you are feeling off kilter. Remember, you might not like the same music every day, so check in with yourself to see what you are in the mood for. I have one client who listens to Broadway show tunes on some days, but on others she chooses classical. Another client can only listen to classic rock; as soon as I turn it on, his face lights up, and he’s ready to, well, rock. And sometimes silence is the best music. I have a client who has music piped in at work all day, so she chooses quiet and is invigorated by listening to nothing but the city sounds. Experiment and see what works best for you. Change it up from time to time. Play a few songs and see how they make you feel. Sometimes I like movie soundtracks because it helps me connect to the creativity of the movies and characters and takes me to another place.
Throughout the twenty-eight days, you will do daily breathing exercises for the mental portion of Mind Your Body. Experiment with the different options and do what works best for you. Depending on your mood, you may find that some exercises feel more comfortable than others. Do what feels the most soothing to your body. Try fast breathing, shallow breathing, deep breathing, and slow breathing to see what feels best and gives you the result you desire. It’s common for people to breathe shallowly when they feel preoccupied, and breathing exercises help you be relaxed and open.
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down. Fold your arms gently and loosely across your belly. Now, take a normal breath, then exhale. With each successive breath, begin to inhale and exhale more deeply and slowly. With each breath in, your arms should rise along with your belly. If they don’t, you aren’t fully using your diaphragm and are not fully relaxed. Continue to breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs. Let your abdomen fully expand. Pause at the top of your breath for a second, then exhale slowly and completely through your mouth (or your nose, if that feels more natural), feeling your lungs release air. As you take these first breaths, do a scan of your body, acknowledging and releasing any noticeable areas of tension. Then check in with the quality of your mind. Is it filled with rambling, repetitive, or noisy thoughts? When your mind wanders or you follow a thought, or you get distracted by a noise or bodily discomfort, gently bring your mind back to your breath.
Quick tip: Don’t leave negative feelings lying around—they’ll fester. Whenever you become aware of negative feelings (sadness, jealousy, anxiety), imagine the feeling floating into the sky and evaporating into thin air. You don’t want to leave toxic emotions lying around on the sofa, or on your desk at work, or even floating into traffic—they might transfer to someone else or end up as weeds in your front yard.
At the beginning of this chapter, I asked you to reflect daily on your deserve level categories; you will review your progress several times as you move through the 4-week plan. This is incorporated seamlessly so that self-reflection becomes a habit. This will help you increase your awareness and learn to reshape negative patterns into positive ones. A lot of times bad patterns continue for years because we are like hamsters on their wheels, going round and round with our consciousness completely asleep. I call it the treadmill of life. These habits got you where you are today. To be your own best coach, you need to get in the habit of regularly self-reflecting.
Whenever you are waiting for someone and have a few minutes to spare, think back on your moods over the past week. Were they positive or negative? Then imagine you are sitting across the room looking at yourself. What would you have to say about that person? Do you see a tired person slouching over? Do you look annoyed? Would you want to approach this person? This is not an exercise in becoming self-absorbed. This is how, by being present and responsible, you become a realist.
“Happiness Is . . . . . . . an Inside Job.”
This week you’ll find exercises that help you visualize success, shift your perspective to successful thinking, shut off mental static, and improve sleep.
Your body language is not an accident. Your posture, the way you walk, your facial expressions, and your physical gestures and features all make up the nonverbal vehicle that communicates your self-perception to others—and to yourself, according to Amy Cuddy, social psychologist at Harvard University. Cuddy’s research shows that how you use your body influences not only how others perceive you but also how you feel and think about yourself—and it takes only two minutes to start a real change in your body and your mind!
Think about how you are standing and sitting today. Notice if you tend to make your body small by hugging yourself, tucking your legs up underneath you, or slouching. These are all ways of saying, “I am powerless in this world.” Whenever you catch yourself making your body small, correct it. Use the next exercise to begin opening up your body—and, in turn, your inner power.
Stand with your back against a flat, sturdy wall, with your heels flush or one inch from the baseboard, whichever is more natural. While looking straight ahead, imagine that a string is attached to the top of your head and is pulling up, elongating you all the way from your heels through your hips, spine, neck, and head. Roll your shoulders up, back, and down. Now, scan your body, taking a few deep breaths and letting go of unnecessary tension with each exhale. Relax your mind and focus on your breathing. After a few more breaths, imagine that there are three strangers standing behind you. How would each describe you by your body language? What messages is your body telling them? Would they see irritation, confidence, laziness, or . . . ? Now let joy, assertiveness, peace, light, and love flood into your body, and imagine that these strangers see only positive body language. Relax your arms to your sides and lift your chin. Continue to breathe away tension. Be aware of how your body shifts as you move through this exercise.
You are going to take five breaths, inhaling slowly and deeply, then exhaling slowly and completely. Each time you inhale, allow your mind to take you to a tense part of your body. Imagine that there is a balloon in this spot, and imagine it expanding. Keep your chest lifted as you exhale. Visualize negative tension, thoughts, and feelings drifting off into the sky to disappear forever. Repeat, moving your attention to another tense area for a full five breaths. Throughout your day, each time you check the time, take ten seconds to check in with any points of tension or negative thoughts and breathe them away.
“I move forward in life with confidence and sincerity, wanting only to do good.” “I love exactly who I am; I am strong and capable.”
Cluttered homes equal cluttered minds.
Pick a drawer or stack of papers in your home that needs to be organized. Take it to a different room. For example, if you want to clean a desk drawer that is in your office, take it to the kitchen table. Take everything out, or if it is a stack of papers, put it on a table. Put an empty trash can and a recycling container nearby. Imagine someone is watching you. This creates a feeling of validation and responsibility. Go through each item one by one and toss it, take action, or save (only if you will use the item within the coming six months). If the paper or item calls for an immediate action, stop and do it. Whenever you come across areas in your nest that represent unfinished projects or business, it creates anxiety. The goal, when you have finished your stack or drawer, is to be left feeling able to find anything you need quickly and easily.
Whenever a circumstance, event, or situation arises, pause and take time to think of the most direct path to resolve the issue, make the decision, or deal with the event.
Inhale slowly to a count of four, and exhale slowly to a count of four. Repeat this four times. Then read the next meditation, close your eyes, and repeat the breathing exercise while focusing on the meditation.
While practicing the breathing exercise, begin to incorporate this thought: “Everything inside and around me is perfectly organized. I release all confusion and conflict. I appreciate, value, and am drawn toward simplicity.”
“I handle everything I encounter with clarity and patience. I let go easily.”
Feel good, live simply, and laugh more.
—UNKNOWN
The family you grew up with may have taught you good or bad things—or, most likely, some of both. Often people continue to think, feel, and act out based on coping strategies they learned as children, but you don’t have to live in your childhood anymore. It’s time to let go of the past and learn new and empowering feelings, thoughts, and actions. How you feel, think, and behave today is what defines you, not who you were in the past.
Think back over this last week. What thoughts did you have or what did you say or do that didn’t really come from who you are? This could be something you were taught in your youth or a habit or expression you developed during your childhood that doesn’t match who you are or who you want to be today. Don’t criticize or judge; simply allow the awareness of how the past still affects your present and realize that you can let go of whatever doesn’t work for you today. Your thoughts are your choice.
“I don’t respond or react immediately. I pause and listen to my thoughts before I speak. My thoughts and actions are my own. I create them, and I can uncreate them.”
Throughout your day today, practice taking a slow, deep inhale and a slow, full exhale before you speak, respond, or react to anything, even yourself.
After reading the following statement a few times, close your eyes and repeat it several times while taking slow deep breaths: “I say what I mean and mean what I say. I have transparent beliefs.”
Smile as big and bright as you can while you read the following exercises. Smiling triggers activity in the areas of your brain that register happiness, so do it even when you don’t feel happy, and you’ll instantly improve your mood. Plus, smiling is contagious, according to recent research from Wayne State University in Detroit. Your smile triggers happiness in the brains of those around you as well as in yourself.
Today I want you to think about spreading your smile. All day today, smile at every person you see. Don’t expect a response or return smile. Just give your smile away, pass it on, even if it feels awkward at first. Don’t think about it. Just do it.
After reading the following statement a few times, close your eyes and think it while taking slow deep breaths: “I see only loving people around me. Even if their outsides don’t show it, I know that we are all the same at our center—loving, kind, and caring.”
Any time you run into an unpleasant situation, experience, or person today, pause and then inhale deeply, breathing in all negativity, and then exhaling fully and releasing positive energy back into the universe. You have the power and abundance to transform energy from negative to positive. It just takes a breath to clear away undesirable energy. You can use this whenever you run into an undesirable situation. Try combining this breathing exercise with the visualization below.
Close your eyes and visualize negativity flying at you in the form of negative signs from every direction. Imagine that you are breathing in this negative energy, and as you exhale, see them come out as positive energy in the form of plus signs (+ + + +). Imagine that you are releasing positivity out into the universe. Feel your body relax each time you transform a “–––” into a “+ + +.”
“I am full of generosity. I know that everyone is doing the best they can, and I have an abundance of love to give. Smiling comes to me easily.”
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
—THICH NHAT HANH
Today is about doing an energy makeover. Paying attention to what saps your energy during the day and making conscious choices about where to devote your energy will help you get more out of your day.
Use lights as triggers to check in with your energy today. Whenever you see a light fixture (table lamp, chandelier, wall sconce, or candle), let it remind you of energy. Pause for a moment to take stock of how you are feeling. Be aware of your energy; imagine what someone would see if your energy and emotions expressed themselves as light and color. For example, if you are hot with anger, your light might be bright red. If you are exhausted, maybe it is just a dim yellow light.
“I love myself, and I will always be here for me. I feel comfort and ease. I create my new reality.”
Do a quick scan of the areas you feel are draining you of energy. What areas in your body or places in your life drain you of power? Write down the top three that come to mind. Inhale deeply and slowly, and as you exhale fully, let them go. You will feel immediately lighter.
What energizing, uplifting, joyful feelings do you want to feel? Write three of them down on sticky notes and put them where you can see them. Now inhale deeply, breathing in energizing feelings, and exhale a radiating light.
Close your eyes and imagine what is draining you of energy. See these things visually. If work is one of these, imagine your desk, your boss, or a meeting that you dread. Hear the sounds of phones ringing, smell the office, see the bright lights. Imagine whatever is overwhelming in your life with all your senses. When you can clearly visualize an image and hold it, begin to shrink it down. Next, picture a big trash can or dumpster and imagine yourself throwing your draining images into it. In goes the boss, the office, the meeting. Finally, see the trash men coming, and watch as they haul off the waste that you no longer have room for in your life.
Sit in silence for one minute and focus on taking full breaths of love. With each inhale and exhale, imagine a golden light radiating out from every one of your pores. You are glowing with energy and light.
Quality and quantity go hand in hand when it comes to sleep. If you sleep deeply (quality), but for just a few hours a night (lack of quantity), your brain and body don’t get what they need to rejuvenate. If, on the other hand, you spend plenty of time in bed at night, but the quality of sleep is poor—you’ll have the same problems. You deserve to be well rested and to sleep in peace for the appropriate amount of time.
Fake it till you make it. Whenever someone asks you how you sleep, respond that you sleep like a baby. You’ll create a new story about yourself, and that will make it into a reality.
“I drift off into a deep restful slumber with ease. My dreams take me on beautiful, joyful journeys. I wake feeling well rested and energized.”
While you are lying in bed tonight, take a moment to examine the quality of your thoughts. Sometimes, when I’m going to bed I realize that I have to get up early and I won’t get all the sleep I know I need. I start thinking about how sleepy I’m going to be in the morning, and I have to catch myself, because I know this sort of thinking can disrupt the quality of sleep that I do have available. Instead, I say an affirmation: “I am going to wake up easily, feeling awake and alive. I am going to have a perfect night of sleep.”
Keep a notebook and a pen by your bed, and use it as a safe holding place for your thoughts. If you find your mind racing at bedtime, write down any to-dos, worries, ideas, or goals. Trust that they’ll be waiting right there for you tomorrow. For now, you can rest easy.
Today is about unplugging and allowing your mind to let go and float.
Take a pen and paper and sit in a comfortable chair. Let your mind drift off for around ten minutes. Allow your thoughts to wander freely. Imagine that your mind is a river; see your thoughts floating along with the current. If a thought arises that feels pressing, urgent, or persistent, simply jot it down, then come back to the river. Listen to the sounds of the water lapping against the shore. See the sun shining and feel its warmth on your skin. Feel your body melt, releasing all tension. When you notice that you are following a thought or have been hooked into an emotion, take a deep breath, jot it down, and let it go.
Fire your autopilot and hire your creative mind. We often limit ourselves when it comes to creating ideas, because we feel hindered by fear of judgment. You can change this pattern by freeing your mind. When it’s time to come up with an idea, allow your mind to wander for a few minutes (as in the “Free-Your-Mind Meditation”). The process of disconnecting and letting your thoughts flow freely will engage your creative side to produce more effective, intuitive, and inspired ideas.
“My mind works perfectly, and whenever I need an idea or inspiration, I simply relax, and it comes to me effortlessly.”
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Imagine that you are drifting up into the sky. Feel how light your body feels, how your arms and legs just float out to your sides and feel weightless. See yourself among the clouds in the blue sky. Feel how comfortable and secure you feel. Continue this exercise for about three minutes, making the visual world as real as possible. See and hear birds flying by; see the houses and the tops of trees down below. Then gently feel your body floating down onto a warm, sandy beach. Feel the sand between your toes and the sun on your skin.
This week is all about creating confidence and drive, cultivating grit, empowering yourself, and learning to be a doer. You’re going to learn how to eliminate roadblocks and escape routes.
Today is about remembering the wisdom that your parents, a teacher, or a mentor instilled in you. I want you to take a few minutes and think back to what sayings or advice you have been given that still floats around in your brain. For example, my mom always told me, “It is nice to be nice” and “Make a decision or someone else will make it for you.” It’s time for you to consciously decide if these messages from the past are still helpful to you today. Are they positive, negative, or just plain useless? Take a piece of paper and fold it in half lengthwise and write down the old messages as fast as you can. Then take the ones that are negative, and on the other side of the paper rewrite them so they are positive. An old message one client of mine shared with me was “If you do that, they are going to think you are nuts,” which she rewrote as “I accept and love myself just as I am, and people are drawn to me from every direction. My mind is unique and creative.”
“I am my own remarkable person. People are drawn to me from every direction. I am building the life I want.”
Close your eyes and see your parents on a stage in front of an enormous audience. Hear them saying how incredibly talented you are and how proud of you they are. Visualize old defeating messages and thoughts drifting away. Let yourself feel your parents’ loving presence, unconditional love, and overflowing pride in you.
Take five deep breaths; with each exhale, feel your body relax as you settle into who you are in this very moment. As you breathe, repeat to yourself, “I am enough just the way I am today.”
When we are grateful, we sleep better, have lower blood pressure, and stay healthier. Practicing gratitude is taking a moment to consciously acknowledge a benefit that is already in your life or coming your way. Unfortunately, we tend to live extremely busy lives, and it is easy to overlook what is going right in our lives, which can lead to negativity. Today is about practicing the art of giving thanks for what is good in our lives. Everyone I know likes to be thanked; I’ve never met anyone who liked being taken for granted or overlooked. Most people like to do things for people who appreciate it. Our true selves are accustomed to being generous and gracious.
Keep the following thought as a running theme for your day: I am sensitive and aware of all that goes on around me. I see the positive, and I say “thank you” easily. It slips off my lips with ease.
“I appreciate all that I am, and feel gratitude for all that I see and do. I am grateful for all the universe offers me.”
Close your eyes. Scan the past week and see all the things you have to be thankful for. Maybe there was a day that was particularly beautiful. See the sunshine, feel the warmth, and hear the birds singing. Take a moment to create an image of what brought the feeling of gratitude into your being. Inhale each grateful moment and smile.
The more confidence we have, the easier it is to propel ourselves forward. Everyone I know who has taken a class in public speaking or acting, including myself, has said that it was one of the best things they ever did for themselves. Some people say they were terrified to get up in front of a crowd, but once they went through it, they felt rejuvenated and empowered. Why? Because it allows you to get in front of others and express yourself confidently. You do this in your daily life. You have to convey your thoughts to others to communicate your needs, wants, and desires.
Think about where you could communicate more effectively in your life. Think of an idea or concept you wanted to share, and share it today with a trusted friend or co-worker. After you’ve expressed yourself, ask for feedback. One of my clients, Serina, told me that she wanted to take voice lessons when she was growing up, but her parents couldn’t afford them. Today she is very successful and could easily pay the price. Serina passed my next client, a famous singer, as she was leaving our appointment. At our next appointment, she asked me if I’d ask the singer about a voice teacher. I told her I would, but that I thought it would be better for her to do it. After a few weeks, she finally got up the courage. And after a year of voice lessons, she’s so good that she’s now performing in a big show in the city. Taking risks pays big.
“My thoughts flow easily; I express and share my ideas with confidence and grace.”
Close your eyes and imagine that you are standing in front of a huge crowd of people. You have just completed an amazing lecture, lost weight, finished a marathon, or achieved another enormous success. Feel people patting you on the back and hear them shouting words of praise and congratulations on a job well done.
Stress is not driven by the things that happen in life; stress is driven by your perception of what happened.
We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day. Most of us have work obligations and other commitments, but ultimately, how you use your time, especially your free time, is up to you. If you say “time zips by,” it will. If you think, “I never have enough time,” then you never will. Negative affirmations are self-defeating and must be eliminated if you want to empower yourself to make healthy changes. Take control! Think about how you typically spend your leisure time. Are you watching TV, surfing the web, or on your phone? The average American spends about 8.5 hours a day in front of screens of one sort or another—that’s an entire day not spent on your goals. Pay attention to what is sucking up your unscheduled time, and make sure it matches your goals.
Today I want you to think about being responsible for yourself. Being self-responsible is dynamically liberating and endlessly energizing. Before you can support others, you have to learn how to nurture yourself.
Grab a pen and paper and spend a few minutes brainstorming on what you could do to take care of yourself. Pick three things, and take the first step on one project today. Learn to knit, speak Spanish, or play tennis. Find a local class and schedule an appointment today.
“I have an abundance of time. I am able to do everything I want whenever I want to do it.”
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Think of your hobbies and the activities you fantasize about doing. Let’s say you want to go on a hike. Feel the rocky path under your feet and the sun on your shoulders. Breathe in the fresh mountain air. Hear the birds chirping in the trees around you. See yourself smiling and losing track of time because you are having such a good time.
Money is a great motivator, but does it have power over you? Is lack of money causing you to feel trapped? What are your inner thoughts about money? Get clear on them. When one client first started coming to me, he would say, “I’m never going to make great money; my parents will always have to pay for me.” Negative thinking like this creates a negative reality. Instead of freeing you to do what you want, does money trigger insecurity, anxiety, or low self-worth? If it does, then it has control over your moods and your life. To be truly powerful, you have to face your fears about money, cleaning up any debts you created, and doing the work to bring in money.
Today, consider redefining your relationship to money. Understand that while there are limits that come with financial difficulties, there are also opportunities and possibilities that you are missing. If you are in this state, think about how you can make a game of reducing your spending as much as possible, paying off debt if you have it, while raising your quality of life.
“Money continually flows to me from every direction. I have an abundance of riches to do exactly what I want whenever I want to do it.”
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Bring to mind the image of a hundred-dollar bill. Feel the bill with your hands. Imagine that you are looking up and you begin to see hundred-dollar bills falling rapidly from every direction. It’s as if you are caught in a storm of hundred-dollar bills. See yourself walk to your mailbox and open it; as you do, see hundred-dollar bills pouring out. Imagine looking at your windows and your door and seeing hundred-dollar bills coming in through every crack. See all this prosperity coming to you. Feel how you deserve to have this financial abundance in your life.
You can start feeling successful right now with your breath. As you take in a slow, deep inhale, imagine that you are breathing in success, abundance, and prosperity. As you exhale, release negative feelings and stress about money. As you inhale again, feel your chest lift and your body center itself in the endless abundance you deserve.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
—ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
Do you have past actions that you don’t feel good about? What do you need to forgive yourself for? Do you feel you have been wronged? Do you hold grudges? Forgiving others and yourself is the path to true serenity. It is time to accept responsibility and move into peace and acceptance. To truly forgive yourself, it is of paramount importance that you free yourself and make amends where appropriate.
Holding on to resentment attaches you to anger and bitterness, paralyzing your growth. Today, aim to let go of resentment and embrace forgiveness wherever possible.
Make a list of all wrongs, big or small, that you feel you owe an apology for or need to make restitution on—anything that makes you squirm or cringe. Quickly jot down desired amends without worrying about grammar, punctuation, or spelling. When you are done, go over your list and brainstorm what action you need to take. You might need to write a letter, make a phone call, or go in person to say you are sorry. Now go stand in front of a mirror and say “I’m sorry” several times. Say it until it feels easy. Let go of how the other person might react or any wrongs they may have done to you. This is about cleaning up your side of the street. Forgiveness is freedom.
“I accept myself and am good enough just the way I am today. I forgive myself and let go of any harm to others or myself.”
Sit comfortably and close your eyes. See the people on your list. Imagine that you have made amends and see your loved ones, friends, and acquaintances smiling and looking at you with warmth. Hear them say you are forgiven. See yourself laughing with them. See everyone at peace.
Sit quietly and focus on your breath, paying attention to each inhale and exhale. After a few minutes, turn your attention to your heart. Feel your heart opening. Feel the hurt you’ve carried around for years. Feel love and goodwill flow in with your in-breath and out with your out-breath. Feel the hurt and pain flowing out. Be patient and give your body some time to adjust. Feel any bitterness or resentment lifting from your heart and body, flowing out through every pore. Feel how light and open you feel. See the particles of pain as they drift off into the sky and evaporate like mist in the sunshine. There can be no darkness where you shine light.
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
—THOMAS CARLYLE
I find that a lot of people stay stuck and don’t move forward with their dreams because of fear, so that’s often where I start my work with people. If you want to move forward, it’s important to identify what is holding you back. The simplest and most effective way to do this is by making an if/then list. When a challenge surfaces in my life, I focus on how to fix the problem instead of worrying about it happening. Worry is a useless emotion that just fuels anxiety.
Think about the day in front of you. What plans do you have? What obstacles or challenges might you encounter? How can you apply the “if this happens, then I will do this” way of thinking throughout your day today?
Grab a piece of paper and fold it vertically in half. On the left side, list your worries and what you fear will happen. On the right side, brainstorm solutions. For example, Suzy, a client of mine who was trying to lose weight, wrote down that she was worried about going to happy hour with her friends because having a few drinks added unnecessary calories and made it harder to skip appetizers. Her solution was to tell her friends that she wasn’t in the mood for alcohol and she would order sparkling water instead. Having a plan in place, Suzy smoothly made it through the evening, stuck to her goals, and had fun. You can, and should, use if/then planning any time you are heading into a potentially challenging situation.
If/Then Planning
This is a technique you can employ any time you want to prepare for a potentially challenging event. The strategy is extremely useful for bolstering your resolve in times of temptation and helping you stick to your goals. So, if you are committed to following the Mind Your Body plan but have an upcoming party where you know temptations will be flying in your face all evening, grab pen and paper and fill in the statement “If X happens, then I will do Y.” You might write something like this: “If I have a party to go to where there may be cupcakes or other tempting treats, then I will eat a healthy snack ahead of time and take a healthy food item to the party.” Surprisingly, this simple exercise can radically improve your success rate in losing weight and changing just about any other habit, according to a New York University review of ninety-four studies that investigated the technique.
“I handle whatever comes in my direction with simplicity and ease.”
You can do if/then planning as a visualization exercise anytime you are feeling worried, concerned, or fearful about something. In the example above, I would have told Suzy to sit quietly with her eyes closed and see herself at happy hour ordering the alternative drink, socializing with her friends, and having fun. I’d ask her to hear ice clinking in the glasses, to see the appetizers being passed around and being so focused on scintillating conversation that she doesn’t even notice the food. Now it’s your turn: If you have something on your mind and you’re not sure how you’re going to get through it, think it through carefully. Be creative and flesh it out completely. Visualize everything that could go wrong and all the solutions you can come up with. Make sure to see yourself successfully getting through the situation.
Do you easily find your mind slipping into an autopilot mode of ruminating about past occurrences or future possibilities? This week is about acting with an intention to live in the present moment, encouraging self-trust, and helping you follow through when times are challenging.
Are you ever in such a hurry that you inhale your food so fast you don’t taste a single bite? Eating is supposed to be an enjoyable process where you savor each mouthful. Mealtimes are meant to be a time to celebrate nourishing your body with delicious healthy foods. I want you to experience pleasure in the taste that food brings to your palate. This isn’t a practice in decadence or overindulging. When you are fully conscious and present for your food, overeating is much less likely.
Today, take time to register the flavors, textures, temperatures, and aromas of the food you are eating. Your hunger is appeased faster when you pay attention.
Right now, take a moment to wake up your mouth. Close your eyes and notice the tastes in your mouth. Take your tongue and circle it around the perimeter of your teeth. Start at the top and then move to the bottom. Then massage the roof of your mouth with your tongue. When you eat your next meal, take a mouthful of food and then set your food and utensils down. Chew this first mouthful slowly, focusing intently on the flavors, texture, and temperature of the food. Chew this mouthful until it is the consistency of baby food, then swallow. Take your next bite. Repeat, noticing the flavors and chewing carefully. Continue like this, pausing between bites, focusing intently, and chewing carefully. Notice how it feels to eat like this. Do you get full faster? Try to do this at one meal a day for the next week, and get in the habit of checking in. You’ll increase awareness of hunger and satiety signals and avoid mindless eating.
“I eat and drink only nutritious foods and beverages that replenish my body and leave me feeling energized and restored.”
Close your eyes and bring to mind an image of the inside of your refrigerator. Visualize each shelf and drawer overflowing with a wide variety and abundance of healthy fresh foods. Imagine that you pick up various items and smell them, see the vividness of the different colors, and feel a great desire to eat these wonderfully nutritious foods.
Allow yourself time to relax today while you are eating. As you enjoy the meal, be aware of your breathing. As you pause between bites, take a few deep breaths. Sit back as you chew your food so you can breathe easily. If you are eating with others, try to be the slowest eater at your table. Notice your posture. If you are slouching or hunched forward, sit up and lift your chest so you can breathe easily.
It is easy to get caught up in the emotions around us or to get swept away by another person’s mood. However, you are accountable for your own feelings, and you don’t have to let someone else’s emotions blow you about. To maintain a healthy emotional balance, I find that it is best to stay in a neutral place, ask questions, and refrain from jumping to conclusions. This can be difficult when dealing with someone who is acting irritable, but if you can avoid taking it personally, instead staying impartial and asking questions, you’ll understand the situation better. You’ll be much more likely to resolve the problem without being knocked off balance.
Let the following statement be your theme for the day: “I don’t have to dominate or control others. I create my own moods, and I take responsibility for my mental state.”
Sit quietly and reflect on the past week. What was your overriding mood? How did you feel today? How do you want to feel? Take a moment to monitor what you are feeling right now, and then imagine a positive emotion. Examine what it feels like—and then acknowledge that you are feeling what you are practicing. Let yourself be conscious and fully aware of this moment.
For example, if you are feeling a sense of urgency, take a moment to visualize what patience and tolerance feel like. Settle into those feelings of patience and tolerance. Allow your body to relax, and acknowledge to yourself, “Yes, this is how I am feeling now.” Sometimes it takes multiple repetitions to release negative emotions; practice releases and frees you from the reactivity of negative thoughts. The more I practice a positive emotion, the more it becomes a healthy habitual reaction.
“I have control over how I feel and act. When I trust myself and monitor my impulses, I am able to help myself and others.”
Find a comfortable and quiet place to sit. Close your eyes. Imagine that you are seeing yourself from far away. Imagine there is an aura of light around you that represents your current attitude. What do you see? Is the energy around you positive or negative? What does it feel like? Now imagine that the negative vibrations and colors are fading, and the positive colors and vibrations are growing more and more vivid. See the people around you, your home, your pets, and your work as having the same positive colors and vibrations surrounding them. Everything your energy touches is enhanced with a positive, upbeat energy.
As you take five deep breaths, repeat, “Inside each of us are all the good traits the universe has to offer. I breathe in the white light of universal energy, and I breathe out universal peace.”
We all want to feel and look our best, but many people don’t realize that this involves more than just eating right and exercising. Your perception, feelings, and attitude all play an important part in how you look to the outside world. All the cells that make up your body have a direct relationship to your feelings and thoughts. My most successful clients always look amazing because they work to feel their best from the inside out. These people know that to look stunning, they must also feel their best. When you groom and dress yourself in the morning, do you take the time to look your best? If not, why not? How can you change that?
Consider this: the better you feel about yourself, the higher your self-worth, the more you love yourself—all this will translate into outer beauty, and you’ll worry less about how you look to the outside world.
Feeling overly tense shows up as lines on your face. Tension can start from your feet (which ground you and propel you forward) and spread all the way up your body. Foot massages have been shown to relieve headaches, back pain, and overall tension. Try the following foot treatment to release tension and make you look beautiful all over. While seated in a comfortable chair, sit barefoot and bring your left foot up onto your right leg. Take both hands and massage your foot. Use your fingers to knead every crevice and gently pull each toe. Allow yourself to relax and let go of tension. Then switch sides and massage the other foot. While you are doing this, think of actions you can take to look your best.
“A sense of balance, serenity, and strength comes from looking my best. I give myself time to be healthy and vibrant. Each and every one of my cells glows with illuminating energy. People always say how attractive I am.”
Sitting comfortably, close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. Then bring your attention to your feet. Imagine that your feet look beautiful, fully manicured, and smooth. Move your attention up to your ankles, calves, and thighs, visualizing them as the picture of perfection. Move on to your bottom and belly. Be very specific. If you want to lose your stomach, see and feel it flat and firm. See these areas exactly as you’ve always dreamed. Now do the same for your back, chest, shoulders, and neck. Let go of any excess weight until you are perfect. See your beautiful face and hair. Pretend you are making a sculpture of yourself the way you want to be. The more you crystallize your vision of yourself as pure beauty, the clearer your attractiveness in your mind’s eye, the faster it will become your reality.
Take a slow, deep inhale and feel what it feels like to have an amazing body. Then exhale fully, slowly, and completely, letting imperfections go out with your breath. Repeat, inhaling beauty into your bones, muscles, and cells and exhaling insecurity and self-doubt. Repeat for a total of five breaths, settling into the beautiful person you truly are.
Having a set of moral principles can help you stay anchored in the present moment. An honor code is a set of qualities or principles you have deemed important enough to uphold even under duress. These are core values you believe in that you can return to whenever you begin to feel off balance. Other people learn that they can expect certain things from you based on the values you hold dear. For example, if you live by a code of honesty, love, and kindness, you’ll be more likely to have genuine, loving, kind relationships. The more you value an attitude of appreciation, patience, and understanding, the more you will be surrounded by these qualities. Spending time defining the values you want to live by will help you decide what you must change in your behavior to align your life with who you want to be. In this way, having an honor code helps you define your sense of self, and knowing who you are is paramount in eliminating noise (see rule 1).
Today I want you to consider what makes up your honor code. What virtues did you learn as a child? What still holds true? What are the values of the people you spend the most time around? What are they doing with their lives? How successful, optimistic, spiritual, or loving are they? Do your principles match? What do you believe in, but don’t behave in accordance with? What values from your childhood or friends will you keep? What will you abandon?
“I come from a place of love, honesty, and kindness. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. People respect me because I am trustworthy, tolerant, and loving.”
Sit quietly and imagine yourself attracting loving relationships. Visualize what it feels like to be in healthy relationships with each of your family members, friends, co-workers, and anyone you surround yourself with. Pick five people who are closest to you, and bring them into your imagination. See yourself having a pleasant conversation. Feel their enthusiasm and how it energizes you. See yourself being fully nourished and nourishing.
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
—JIM ROHN
Of all your senses, which is your strongest? Your nose is the main sensor for smelling and tasting. That’s why you have trouble tasting food when you are congested. Aromas and scents trigger memories, lift your spirits, and often cause cravings. Ever been at the airport or mall and been hit by the intoxicating aroma of cinnamon buns? It makes you want to drop your bags, rush to the front of the line, and bite into one immediately. Smell can increase or decrease appetite, so it is imperative to be aware of what you’re smelling and what it might trigger. Your sense of smell deteriorates with age, but you can keep it alive and kicking by stimulating your sense of smell in healthy ways.
Pay close attention to the smells in your environment as you move through the day. What is your favorite smell? The smell of a lemon, lavender, or fresh muffins? As you go about your day, be aware of smells and how they make you feel. Do they trigger snacking? Do they make you want to eat unhealthy snacks? What makes your stomach grumble? What wakes you up? Pause several times to smell your surroundings. Be conscious of the perfume of flowers wafting by if you are outside. How does the cafeteria, dining room, or restaurant smell at lunchtime? Notice how your home smells when you return home. Light a special candle or burn some incense and enjoy the aroma today.
While standing, reach your arms straight above your head with palms facing forward and fingertips pointing to the ceiling. Inhale deeply through your nose, and as you exhale, bring your arms to your sides with the tempo of your breath. Relax your hands at your sides. Take another breath in through your nose, and this time notice what aromas are in your environment. Are they pleasant or unpleasant? How do they make you feel? Do they bring up memories? Repeat this a couple of times. Next, cup your hand around your mouth and inhale, smelling your breath. Is it good or bad? Most people never take the time to smell their own breath. If it doesn’t smell good, fix it. You want to attract people to you; bad breath is a sure way not to.
“I take in all the rich aromas around me. Wherever I go, I stop and smell; it is a window into my present moment. My sense of smell draws me to healthy nutritious foods that nourish my body.”
While sitting quietly, take a deep inhale through your nose and exhale fully through your mouth. Close your eyes. As you continue to breathe, feel the sensation of air passing in and out of your nostrils. Allow this to set the stage for awakening your sense of smell.
Most of us spend most of our waking hours in a place of business. Is your occupation fulfilling? Are your thoughts about your career limited by your beliefs? If something doesn’t feel right, it might be time for a change. Maybe you just need to adjust your attitude, or perhaps your future is calling you to a new adventure. Even if your work is challenging or tough, remember that all experiences are opportunities to grow, cultivate grit, and become more talented.
Spend some time today thinking about your current work situation and how your attitude might be influencing your perception of your career. Nathan, a client of mine, used to complain about his job through entire training sessions. After listening a few times, I asked him how he would feel about himself if he were the employer. Did he see himself as a valuable employee? He laughed and told me he wouldn’t think much of himself as an employee—not when he knew what sort of attitude he was carrying around. I told him that he had just explained why he was so unhappy with work. His face went flat, and he looked confused.
“If you wouldn’t want you working for yourself, why would anyone else?” I asked.
He tried to explain that his boss was annoying, but I cut him off with a “so?” And I suggested he try giving the boss what he had been hired for, do the work, and stop taking advantage of his boss, and then see if he still found the boss irritating. I told him that I thought he was irritated with himself and projecting it onto his boss. At our next session, Nathan came in looking sheepish.
“Well?” I asked.
“Well, I did what you suggested, and the boss is off my back, and he actually complimented me on a project I proposed this past week,” he said.
“I am creative. I am unique. I have a position that I love doing, and I get paid great money doing it.”
Close your eyes and conjure up an image of your workplace. See yourself going to your office or workspace at the start of the day. What does it look like? What sounds do you hear? What smells do you smell? What feelings and thoughts come up? Really go deep into the feeling. Now imagine that you are having a fabulous day. Co-workers are complimenting you. Your supervisor is praising your work. See yourself leaving at the end of the day, tired but feeling fantastic. You have done well today. You were helpful and useful to your co-workers, to the mission your job stands for, and you have provided for yourself and your family.
Take five deep breaths, inhaling deeply and fully, and exhaling slowly and completely, and imagine you are being praised for a job well done. Sense what it feels like to be commended on your talents and abilities.
We all have to deal with other people, some of us more than others. I see the world get a wee bit more self-absorbed day by day and it saddens me, but it is within our power to reverse the wave. I need your help. It’s easy to forget that we are all part of one universe. It’s easy to separate yourself from others, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Your mind is the universal mind, and the way you access the collective mind we all share is by tapping the present moment and connecting with those around you.
Think about the other people in your life—not just friends and family, but people you see often, such as the doorman, the mail carrier, your barista. Consider that each person you cross, drive next to, or see on the street has good days and bad, triumphs and defeats, loves and rejections. We are all one. We share many of the same experiences, but some of us have harder lives than others.
Write thank-you notes. Think back over the past few months and list five people who did something nice for you. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture. Maybe a food server was particularly attentive. Maybe a friend called to see how you were doing. Grab a note card or head to the store and pick out five cards, and write each person a thank-you note. Make the notes all about them and how much their gestures meant to you. If you don’t know someone’s address, personally hand it to that person.
“I enjoy being in the presence of others. We are all unique human beings and each of us has a purpose. I appreciate the loving relationships I am surrounded with.”
Allow yourself a few minutes to sit quietly and focus on yourself. Thank yourself for taking care of yourself. You go to work, you are eating heathy, you are exercising and making healthy changes. You are reading this book and attempting to take part in a total transformation. Be grateful for yourself. Write a thank-you note to yourself. Sense what it feels like to be appreciated and noticed for what you say and do.
It’s time to get creative, tap your imagination, and open your mind. Remember, you deserve better than the best, and being willing to try new ideas and solutions is the first step. Plus, anytime you are open to learning something new, you literally wake up your brain. It doesn’t matter if you decide to take up knitting, sign up for guitar lessons, or learn to play chess—your brain will respond whenever you try something new by rebuilding neurons and creating new pathways. This mental stimulation in turn stimulates and energizes your body.
It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
—RUMI
In chapter 7, you identified goals you wanted to achieve. Congratulations! You are now on day 22 and have actively set a positive intention for change by following these daily prescriptions. Now it is time to start thinking about how you can design your own daily intentions to continue to carry you toward your dreams. Do you still have the same dreams you did at the beginning? Are they true to the real you who is emerging? It’s okay—in fact it’s great—if you want to tweak or shift your goals. That’s part of growth. Now is the time to upgrade them.
Each and every day counts, even if some days it feels like you take two steps back for every step forward. Missteps and slip-ups are just as valuable as accomplishments if you are awake to see the lessons that can be learned. If you went to a party and got caught by the chocolate fountain, it might make you want to throw in your workout towel, but it can actually be a fantastic opportunity to examine what happens to you at social gatherings. You can go back to day 14 and practice some if/then brainstorming so you will hit the next event prepared. As long as you continue to walk in the same direction, you will get to your destination. Most roads aren’t smooth, and life doesn’t come with an “undo” button. Our lives twist and turn, with potholes and detours, but if you keep the faith and continue with persistence in the direction of your goals, you will make it. Never underestimate the power of taking consistent small steps.
Are you headed in the right direction? Take a moment to review the 10 categories in the test on these pages. Scan these critical areas of your life and review the goals you have set for yourself. Are you on your path? It is not necessary to beat yourself up. Just check in with yourself and think through where you want to go. It’s never too late to start over. It’s okay if you’ve had a shift since you started Mind Your Body; just adjust your intention to match today’s goals. If you have the thought, you have the ability to make it happen. Adjusting goals doesn’t create stress; it releases tension. By staying current with daily intentions, you will make sure that your goals have maximum meaning and purpose. Decide what is most important to you today. What action will you take to move toward your goal? That is your day’s intention.
Today is about mixing it up. Take the items in your right pocket and put them in your left, or if you have a purse, carry it on your opposite side. Use your nondominant hand when you need to get something out of your pocket or purse. Do this for daily tasks, too: brush your teeth and use your computer mouse or TV remote with the “other” hand. You’ll tap into unused areas of your brain and wake up your creative mind. It’s a great way to shift your perspective, see things in a new light, and open yourself to creative thinking.
“Today, I honor myself by sticking to my goals. I know that I will eat nutritiously so I have optimal energy to be of maximum service to others and myself. I will look at life from new angles.”
Sit quietly with your eyes open. Let your gaze rest softly a few feet in front of you, not focusing on anything specific. Let sounds and sights float around you while you focus on your breath. Feel the air flow into your nostrils as you inhale, pause, and then feel your belly deflate as you completely exhale. Accept outside sounds as they occur, rise, and then fall into silence. Let the silence between the sounds settle you. Think of your dreams and imagine what it feels like to have your dreams come true in the present moment. Repeat this five times, feeling the payoff for your many days of setting intentions.
The way you dress is an expression of who you are. Most of us fall into patterns of dressing. We create “uniforms,” even if we have no dress code for work. Does the way you dress reflect the true you, or is it the product of old patterns?
When you go to your closet, do you pull out items that you can’t wait to wear because they help you feel alive, inspired, and empowered? It’s time to think outside your closet. Today, watch other people on the street, flip through some magazines, or look up some fashion ideas on Pinterest. What styles inspire you? Think about putting yourself in one of these outfits.
“I joyously release and easily give away any excess in my life. I encourage the flow of life. New things come to me with ease.”
Grab some bags and head to your closet. Close your eyes, then take a deep inhale and a full exhale. Repeat a few times, allowing your mind to clear, your body to relax, and your thoughts to settle. Now open your eyes. Starting on one side of the closet, go through each item. If you are unsure of whether something fits, try it on. If it is too big, put it in the bag. If it is something you haven’t worn in the last year, put it in the bag. If it is too tight, put it on the other side of your closet; you will wear it soon. Any piece of clothing that doesn’t feel right doesn’t belong in your wardrobe. You are opening yourself up to the new. Organize your closet as you go. Pants with pants, skirts with skirts, tops with tops, and so on. You can also organize by color—blacks, browns, blues, pinks, and so on. When you are done, take the filled bags and put them by your front door to be taken out the next time you leave the house.
After you finish your closet, stand in your underwear in front of a full-length mirror and look at yourself. Remember that this week is about committing to breaking out of old thinking and tapping into a new mindset. With this intention in mind, smile and say out loud to yourself, “I am full of joy and beauty. I love and express my true self today.” Scan your body and visualize exactly how you want to look and feel. Refuse to criticize yourself. If you are having a hard time, act as if you are encouraging a dear friend. When you do this, you draw the law of attraction into your world. You create an energetic field that will help you manifest the body you desire faster than you think.
When Writing Brings Up Difficult Feelings
Sometimes writing can bring up emotional or traumatic memories. While this can make you feel depressed and increase stress in the short term, research shows that over the long haul your mood will be improved, and you’ll relieve stress. When you write about a difficult memory, it can cause you to relive the event and might provoke distressing emotions. If you do find that journaling leaves you with mood swings you are not comfortable with, talk to a close friend. If your depressed mood is not alleviated within a week, consider talking with a therapist. I’m a big believer in therapists. I think it is like going to a personal trainer for your mind.
Take a deep inhale and, as you exhale, allow your mind to relax. Release negative thoughts and feelings. Inhale again, allowing the positive energy of the universe to flow into you. Recognize that you are a perfect expression of love and health. As you continue to focus on your breath, invite in love and appreciation for who you are today.
You can tap into the abundance offered by your subconscious mind as you sleep at night. By tapping into your dreams, you can gain insight from hidden fears, wishes, and desires, which are often expressed in dreams. This can help you gain insight into internal feelings and give you the power to make healthy changes.
As you go about your day today, think about unresolved questions or problems in your life. Consider the possibility that tonight when you go to bed, your dream world may help you solve these issues.
This evening before you go to bed, sit with a pen and paper and make a list of the problems you thought about during the day. Put this list by your bed, and before you fall asleep, add any recurring thoughts to your list, even small things such as remembering to pick up the dry cleaning or to return a library book. Clear your mind of all mental static—your paper is your holding place for these thoughts. When you have cleared your mind, reread your list. Choose one item to focus on and think of a question you wish to have answered. Focus intently on this question, then release it as you drift off to sleep. Trust that when you wake up you will have your answer. Give it a try. It may take more than one night, but it works.
“Tonight, I go to sleep with a clear mind, and I know I’ll receive answers to all my questions when I wake. I dream with clarity and peace of mind.”
Sit quietly in a comfortable position and say to yourself, “May I experience true happiness. Please allow all my dreams to come true.” Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. The happier you are, the more happiness you can spread and share with others on their journey.
Most of us spend many hours at our jobs, and work can, if you allow it, take up a huge amount of mental space. Even if you are fully satisfied with your work, it’s important to know how to let it go during your off hours. Your work doesn’t need to be the exact reflection of who you are. The goal is to love it while you are doing it—to feel useful and of service, to be inspired and happy, and to earn a good living for yourself. Aim for a balance between work and home; that is an ideal job.
As the hours in your day go by, consider how you are using your time. Think about yourself from the perspective of an outsider. What would another person see if they saw you at work? How would you want to be perceived? Passionate? Fulfilled? Creative? If that’s not the picture you’re seeing, it doesn’t mean you should storm out of the office. Instead, think of small steps you can take to adjust your attitude, environment, and responsibilities so that they are more in line with the work you want to do. If you feel stuck in this area, make a date with a friend to brainstorm about this. If you are toying with the idea of another career, reach out and connect with someone who already has that job and offer to take him or her to lunch. The more you investigate the job, the clearer your path will become.
“I appreciate my source of income. I am open to new opportunities. Each and every day I express more and more of my talents and abilities. I chase my bliss.”
Sit comfortably in a quiet place with your eyes closed. Conjure up a vision of your office. Imagine that you are sitting in your workplace. Hear the office sounds surrounding you. Smell your work’s smell. What feelings come up? Is your energy drained or expanding? Visualize yourself as inspired and fulfilled. See yourself in control of the energy you carry with you at work. See yourself having great power over your work environment. See how you are helpful to others, how you serve a purpose at work.
Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. As you take a deep, slow inhale, allow gratitude to grow. Be thankful and blessed that you have a job. As you exhale, send out feelings of gratitude to those you work with. On your next inhale, feel yourself open to new prosperity, abundance, and an increase in salary. As you exhale, sense what it feels like to be appreciated and to be open to prosperity.
What will be your legacy? Have you ever wondered what others will remember about you? Rather than a morbid exercise, imagining what it would be like to attend your own memorial is an enlightening way to get clear on your life, just as Ebenezer Scrooge did in A Christmas Carol—we all know what a transformative experience that was. Writing your eulogy allows you to reflect on your past and helps guide you to create the future that you want.
Today, reflect on your mortality. Acknowledge that this blessed life is limited, and think carefully about how you can live your life with purpose. What do you think your friends and family would say about you today? If there are things you don’t like, what will you do to change how you are remembered?
Grab a pen and paper and describe what you imagine will be said about you at your funeral. Do this for five minutes. Keep your hand moving, with no thought of spelling, punctuation, or grammar. Think of all the things you have already done. After five minutes, turn your paper over and write down how this makes you feel. What are you uncomfortable about? What do you most want to change? Now think outside the box. What do you want said about you? How would you like to be remembered? How will you take actions to make these wishes a reality?
Close your eyes and see yourself doing everything on the list you just created. Imagine it as if it had happened. Hear your friends and family remembering you with great honor, respect, and love. Imagine that you have lived the life of your dreams and accomplished everything you desired.
“I make active choices that are in line with my creative self. I know that I am in the process of changing into the butterfly I’m meant to be. I am a risk taker.”
As you sit quietly, inhale deeply, feeling the air go deep into your navel. Pause at the top of your breath, then begin to exhale slowly and fully, and as you do, say out loud, “Z.” Inhale again, and as you exhale, say, “Y.” Continue breathing and saying the alphabet in reverse until you get to A. This simple exercise will keep you going step by step toward the true you.
How open are you? Do you say “no” more often than “yes,” or “yes” more often than “no”? Today is about being receptive to all the universe has to offer you. Yes, you. It is about opening up all your 10 categories and allowing the sun to shine in. Too many people live below their potential. You have many gifts and you may have achieved some success, but there is always more room in your life for growth and richness.
You can manifest everything you desire if and only if you are truly coming from a place of love, open-mindedness, and honesty. As you step forward into your day, commit to being completely receptive to all the universe has to offer. Allow yourself to listen and be open to what is going on around you. Be awake. Look for stepping-stones, not roadblocks. Allow yourself to be open to new paths. Expect the unexpected.
“My body is made perfect. I have the power to correct what is wrong. I am profoundly magnetic to the abundance the universe has to offer. I shift into a place of possibility.”
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Think back to the last time you heard or saw someone doing something stimulating and thrilling. Take time to fully visualize this scene. See it clearly in your mind’s eye. Hear the sounds that are happening in this vision, smell the smells, and see all the details. Now imagine you are the person doing this thrilling act. Feel how it feels to take a risk and succeed. Hear the applause and take a bow.
Sit quietly with eyes closed and take some calming, soothing breaths. After you’ve taken a few slow, full inhales and slow, complete exhales, open your mind to the mindset of abundance. Experience being open to new opportunities. Feel the enthusiasm and joy that comes with learning something new. Let yourself settle into this feeling of abundance and success. Let it sink in, so when the next opportunity comes your way, you’ll be ready to say, “Yes, I’d love to.”
Waiting is a positive and powerful action, and taking a breather in silence is a good thing, but learning these skills takes practice. All too often we react to people, situations, and experiences without taking even one conscious moment to consider what is happening. Our biological wiring is largely responsible for this, according to scientific studies from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. When you react instantly, your brain actually shuts down conscious evaluating circuits and puts you on autopilot. There is no ability to consider the wide variety of choices available to you when you are in the middle of a reactive habit. Take cravings, for instance. Have you ever headed to a party with the best intentions, only to find yourself gobbling down homemade chocolate chip cookies and wondering how you went astray? The answer is that your brain shuts off in these circumstances and only turns back on when you are neck deep in sugar overload. The good news, according to a fresh study from McGill University, is that you can wake up your brain by using the power of mindful pausing. Researchers had 196 men and women use various mindful meditation techniques to reduce cravings, and after just two weeks, those who were able to pause and be conscious about what was happening reduced powerful cravings for chocolate compared to those who didn’t wake up their brains.
Awareness is the word of the day. Your goal is to notice and identify as many reactive habits as you can. Think about common pitfalls you encounter on a regular basis. Maybe you hit the vending machine during your afternoon slump, or possibly you have a sugary coffee drink despite promising yourself each morning that today will be different. You might feed dollars to the candy machine or order at the coffee bar before you even realize what you are doing. Think ahead to your personal challenges, and when you come across these triggers, pause and recite today’s affirmation. You can say it out loud or to yourself. Repeat it many times.
“A craving is a thought. I am not my thoughts. I don’t have to react or respond to my thoughts. I have the power to choose how I will react and behave. My cravings are not me.”
Pause when you feel triggered by a craving, a person, or a situation. Go to a quiet place and close your eyes. What are you feeling inside? Notice the quality of your breath. Is it fast and shallow? Slow your breath until it is even and relaxing. What is the quality of your gut? Is it tight, nauseated, clutching, or calm? What is the quality of your head, neck, and shoulders? Are they tense, sore, or aching? Breathe into these areas and let them relax. What is the quality of your mind? Is it racing? Breathe into your mind and let all the tension flow away. See yourself sitting serenely and relaxing. See yourself waiting and not struggling. See yourself trusting that the answers will come; there is no rush. All is as it should be. All reality is what it is.
Sit quietly and bring your attention to your breath. Let your mind soften, allowing feelings and thoughts to flow by like clouds in the sky. Scan your body and release any areas of tension. When you feel settled, turn your attention toward your conception of a higher power. Even if you don’t consider yourself religious, you can still tap the divine that flows all around you in the universe. You can turn things over or pray to a Higher Power, a Higher Self, an Enlightened Energy, Nature, or simply to the interdependent web of all existence. Say a prayer or wish of your choice. A nonreligious prayer might go like this: “Please let me always be divinely guided toward the highest good. Let the light of my best self shine from my core to all beings. May I feel the divine connection to all beings. I commit to my highest self and act from the most enlightened perspective.”
This concludes four weeks of detailed activity for a healthy mind. I encourage you to refer here often as you move forward on your journey.