Contents

Cover

Welcome Page

01 – Darcy’s Utopia

Cover

Welcome Page

Eleanor Darcy is interviewed by Hugo Vansitart

Valerie Jones is surprised by Joy

From Valerie Jones’ first interview with Eleanor Darcy

Valerie gets one or two things wrong

Eleanor Darcy’s birth

Valerie stops work to listen to Hugo’s tape

Apricot loses one mother and gains another

Valerie leaps to conclusions

Valerie Jones returns to ask further questions of Eleanor Darcy

Valerie and Lou manage a conversation

Apricot Smith marries Bernard Parkin

Eleanor Darcy speaks to Hugo, and Valerie listens

Valerie suffers from emotion

Bernard and Ellen’s Catholic months

Valerie’s garden interview with Eleanor Darcy

Valerie ventures out of the Holiday Inn

Ellen’s Marxist years with Bernard

Valerie receives a letter from Eleanor Darcy

Ellen’s Marxist life with Bernard comes to an end

Hugo’s restaurant interview with Eleanor Darcy

Valerie meets her lover’s wife

Bernard’s encounters with Nerina

Hugo’s further interview with Eleanor Darcy

Valerie is shocked

Brenda finds Ellen in a state of enchantment

A taped telephone interview between Valerie and Eleanor

Valerie misses home

Bernard and Ellen part

Transcript of a Hugo/Eleanor tape

Eleanor entertains

Valerie sits up in bed and listens to tape

Brenda’s letter to Hugo

Julian overdoes it

Valerie speaks to Belinda

Eleanor goes to visit Jed and Prune

Valerie laughs thrice

A disturbance in the economy

Lou comes to the Holiday Inn

Hugo and Eleanor walk down to the end of the garden

Valerie observes the birth of a new religion

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02 – Down Among the Women

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1: Wanda, Scarlet and Byzantia

Chapter 2: Ask Your Father

Chapter 3: A Certain Sunday

Chapter 4: Scarlet is Brought to Bed

Chapter 5: Susan is Selfish

Chapter 6: Problems and Solutions

Chapter 7: Scarlet Shows Off

Chapter 8: Scarlet Goes to Market

Chapter 9: On The Move

Chapter 10: Sorting Out

Chapter 11: Crucifixions

Chapter 12: Nice People

Chapter 13: Solutions

Chapter 14: Down Among The Women

Down Among the Women

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03 – Female Friends

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

Chapter 61

Chapter 62

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04 – Growing Rich

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

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05 – Leader of the Band

Cover

Welcome Page

Epigraph

Chapter 1: Travelling South

Chapter 2: Details

Chapter 3: So Let Us Begin With – A Burst of Radioactivity

Chapter 4: Breakfast at the Hôtel de Ville

Chapter 5: Mother’s Got a Headache

Chapter 6: A Telephone Call

Chapter 7: Trying to Get Through

Chapter 8: Bringing to Life

Chapter 9: Scene in a Car Park

Chapter 10: A Summons from Afar

Chapter 11: Return of the Citronellas

Chapter 12: So, Starlady Sandra

Chapter 13: Breakfast Time

Chapter 14: Under the War Memorial

Chapter 15: Lying in the Shade

Chapter 16: Truth Being Stranger Than Fiction

Chapter 17: Chew You Up and Spit You Out

Chapter 18: Tell Me About Your Wife

Chapter 19: Where Will We Live?

Chapter 20: The Unclassed

Chapter 21: How’s Your Pains?

Chapter 22: A Certain Rhythm

Chapter 23: Highs and Lows

Chapter 24: A Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight

Appendices

I: Alison’s Story: A Libation of Blood

II: Jennifer’s Story: Come On, Everyone!

III: Jude’s Story: GUP – or Falling in Love in Helsinki

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06 – Life Force

Cover

Welcome Page

Dedication

Marion

Nora

Marion

Nora

Marion

Nora

Marion

Nora

Marion

Nora

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07 – Little Sisters

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

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08 – Moon Over Minneapolis

Cover

Welcome Page

Stories of Working Life

Subject to Diary

I Do What I Can and I Am What I Am

The Year of the Green Pudding

Four Tales from Abroad

Ind Aff

A Visit from Johannesburg

Au Pair

How I Am is How You Are

Tales of the New Age

Down the Clinical Disco

Pumpkin Pie

Sharon Loves Darren

Stories for Christmas

Who Goes Where?

The Search for Mother Christmas

Three Tales of Country Life

A Move to the Country

Chew You Up and Spit You Out

The Day the World Came to Somerset

As Told to Miss Jacobs

A Gentle Tonic Effect

Moon Over Minneapolis

Un Crime Maternel

A Pattern of Cats

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09 – Polaris

Cover

Welcome Page

Polaris

Delights of France or Horrors of the Road

The Sad Life of the Rich

Christmas Lists – A Seasonal Story

And Then Turn Out the Light

The Bottom Line and the Sharp End

In the Great War

Birthday!

The School Run

Who?

Oh Mary Don’t You Cry Any More

Redundant! or The Wife’s Revenge

Acknowledgements

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10 – Praxis

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

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11 – Splitting

Cover

Welcome Page

Dedication

Part 1: A Perforated House

Chapter 1: Edwin’s Divorce Petition

Chapter 2: The Velcro That Is Marriage

Chapter 3: Lady Rice’s Sea Of Sorrow

Chapter 4: Initial Transformations

Chapter 5: Office Business

Chapter 6: Angel Is Born

Chapter 7: History

Chapter 8: Anthea In The Linen Room

Chapter 9: Jelly At Work

Chapter 10: Post Coital

Chapter 11: Alimony As Justice

Chapter 12: The Perforated Personality

Chapter 13: Breaking Out

Chapter 14: Angel’s Outing

Part 2: An Attempt At Diversion

Chapter 1: Family Attack

Chapter 2: The Wicked And The Good

Chapter 3: Tully Toffener And His Powers

Chapter 4: Welcome To Our Wonderful World

Chapter 5: No Grand-Daughter Of Mine

Chapter 6: Trouble Brewing

Chapter 7: Closer To Congo

Chapter 8: At Livermore Gate

Chapter 9: Sara Attempts To Visit Her Grandmother

Chapter 10: Scenes From Wendy’s Life

Chapter 11: A Property Worth Having

Chapter 12: Edwin’s Offer

Chapter 13: Lady Rice On Her Alter Egos

Chapter 14: A Curse From The Past

Chapter 15: An Unbelievable Narrator

Chapter 16: Ajax Is Born

Part 3: Ajax’s Aga Saga

Chapter 1: Angelica First Brings Edwin Home

Chapter 2: How They Told Edwin’s Father

Chapter 3: The Wedding

Chapter 4: Lady Rice, One Year Into Her Marriage

Chapter 5: Lady Rice, Three Years Into Her Marriage

Chapter 6: Lady Rice, Eight Years Into Her Marriage

Chapter 7: Trouble In The Group

Chapter 8: More

Chapter 9: Dinner Party

Chapter 10: Morituri Te Salutant

Part 4: Houses Disinhabited

Chapter 1: Tensions

Chapter 2: A Gust Of Chilly Wind

Chapter 3: A Mother Returns

Chapter 4: A Sniff Of Skin

Chapter 5: Official Business

Chapter 6: Angel Goes Home

Chapter 7: A Short Visit To Mrs White

Chapter 8: Dilapidation

Chapter 9: Renovation

Chapter 10: Perforation

Part 5: Una’s Happy Boys And Girls

Chapter 1: A Menu Of Permutations

Chapter 2: Touting Talent

Chapter 3: Restoration

Chapter 4: Unification

Chapter 5: A House Revealed

Acknowledgement

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12 – The Cloning of Joanna May

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

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13 – The Heart of the Country

Cover

Welcome Page

The Wages of Sin

The Pleasures of Adultery

Dinner

Dinner Time

Chomp, Chomp, Grittle-Grax, Gone!

Facing the Day

By Accident on Purpose

Cough, Cough, Wheeze, Gasp

Love Your Enemy

Justifications

Living Rough

Bargains

Redemption

Improvement

Attempts at Seduction

Doing it all Wrong

Washing Away the Stains

Shock

Interlude

Second Home

Driven Mad

Cough, Cough, Cough Again

Traumas

Bright and Purposeful

Bargains

Gratitude-Schmatitude

Submission

Seduction

Hi, Dad!

Interims

Praxis

Human Sacrifice

Resolutions

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14 – The Rules of Life

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

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15 – The Shrapnel Academy

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

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16 – Wicked Women

Cover

Welcome Page

Tales of Wicked Women

End of the Line

Run and Ask Daddy If He Has Any More Money

In the Great War (II)

Tales of Wicked Men

Wasted Lives

Love Amongst the Artists

Leda and the Swan

Tales of Wicked Children

Tale of Timothy Bagshott

Valediction

From the Other Side

Through a Dustbin, Darkly

A Good Sound Marriage

Of Love, Pain and Good Cheer

Pains

A Question of Timing

Red on Black

Going to the Therapist

Santa Claus’s New Clothes

Baked Alaska

The Pardoner

Bibliographical Note

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17 – Worst Fears

Cover

Welcome Page

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Copyright

About this Omnibus

Also by Fay Weldon

About Fay Weldon

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An Invitation from the Publisher

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