Contents

Cover

Title Page

Welcome

Dedication

Effortless

A Dog’s Poem

Kiss You

The Squares

Convenience

Magic

Anteater, Blender, Butthole

Two Parties

I Eat Words

On Poets and Farts

Chameleon

Flowers

Hell Waits

Alfred

Suits

Sully

Old Sea Captain

Fitting

You

The Flirt

My Rabbit’s Foot

Onion

I Fuck Sluts

Incomparable

Gangly

Advice

Can I Have a Word?

Fear

Flower Sex

Angel

Your Mom

Toast

The Letter

Rock Bottom

Us

Searching

Baby Turtles

Cup of Joe

Sandy Claws

My Daughter

Entrance

Nine to Five

Boooop

Perched

Her

Subtext

Pumpkin

Martha

Disembodied Heads

Benches

Count of Six

The Commercial

The Nudist

Homonyms

There

Lou

Another Day on the Ant Farm

Fuck

The Light

Cat Lady

Big

Using You

Armadilla

My Barber Is Bald

Different

Three Little Words

The Martian

Xia Cobolt

Father Time

Playground

Vampeers

Split Decision

Bee Guys

Hold the Cheese

This Hour

Time Blows

My Stamen

Secret Ingredient

Confession

Feels

The Fall

Touch Me Back

Life

Imagination

TreeHouseTree

Above and Below

One and Another

Senator

Boston Poem

Sharks

Our Father

Sasquatch

Socrates

Light Up

Wind

They

Timmy

Scarf

Wise

Preposition

Judge Jesus

Fireflies

Land of Really Fucked Thoughts

Bombs

The Seaward

Rollersnakes

Silly

Perfect

Mmmmmm

She Waits

Put You in My Pocket

All Clear

The Biker Gang

Linda

Donald

Unstick Me

From the Puppy’s Perspective

Conversation

Heart Surgeon

Routine

Hanged

Nothing

Stars

Hello, My Old Friend

:’(

Gay Parading

Jesus

Strange Adjectives

Gone

Gypsy

Bar Joke

I’m Smart Like a Genius

The Grade

The Farmer

I Want to Beat You to Death

Don’t

Public Speaking

Woman

Strange

Sirens

God

Crazy

Mannish

The Epiphany

No to Drugs

Ashley

Clowns

Turn-Ons

Pigs Are Smarter Than Dogs

A Ghost Story

Look

Let’s See What the Robots Think

Plate Spinner

Drink Umbrellas

Ed

Right, Left

Masturbitosis

Beautiful

Relax

Him

Be Patient

A Final Wish

The Party

Change

Rock

A Wonderful Day to Be Dead

Up Above

Roller Coaster

The Pussy

Offence

Wooden Soldiers

Walk with Me

Fixed

Listen

On the Virg

I Don’t Give a Fuck

Youth vs. Man

Fishing

The Future

Whole

I Can’t Stand Trees

Old

Dating

Cyclops

Sea Monkeys

Knots in the Grass

Her Eyes

Hobgoblin

Fuck in the Woods

Like

Progress

Bustle

You There

Forever and an Instant

Third Person

Acknowledgments

Stuck

Newsletters

Copyright