EAT, DRINK, LOVE

Delicious, Auspicious Eats

Food nourishes luck. In addition to being tasty, the fare served at your wedding can also be spiced with significance, whether it’s a beloved dish in your culture or a global symbol of abundance or sweetness. Keep in mind that you two now constitute a microculture unto itself; any food that brought you closer together definitely counts as lucky. If your first date was brunch, consider a morning wedding and a prosecco-and-pancakes reception. If you met in line at the ice cream truck, pass mini cones late night. Delicious food always makes us feel loved. Knowing it’s meaningful is the cherry on top.

FORTUNATE FOODS

If you’re a sweet-talking couple, you might be able to develop an entire menu out of nicknames you call each other. But if lamb chop followed by honey pie doesn’t have your mouth watering, scan the following list. Some options are culturally specific; others are universal. Pick whichever ones whet your appetite.

APPLES In the Croatian countryside, wedding guests used to walk around the church’s well three times, throwing in apples to invite fertility. A variation on this custom has the bride tossing apples over the roof of her house.

CANDY Sweets are a symbol of—you guessed it!—a sweet life. Jews throw candy at the groom (and, in Reform communities, the bride) at the aufruf, or “calling up,” which takes place on the Shabbat before the wedding for Ashkenazi Jews or the one after for Sephardim.

CLAMS These are beloved at Japanese weddings because their shells are joined together—and they recall the clamshell given to represent longevity during the yuino engagement ceremony (see this page).

CONCH A sign of virility and an aphrodisiac, conch are a mainstay at Caribbean weddings.

CORN Corn and cornmeal are fertility symbols central to many Native American wedding traditions. Couples may receive baskets of corn as gifts, and willow baskets of cornmeal are blessed during the ceremony, where they are set facing east, the most sacred direction.

EGGS Symbols of fecundity, eggs are given to couples as ritual gifts in many Islamic cultures and were once a traditional pre-wedding present in Jamaica, where they were meant to be used in the wedding cake.

FISH In China, fish is lucky because the word for fish (yú) sounds similar to the one for abundance (yù). But in Greece, where seafood is traditionally served at funeral meals, it’s considered unlucky.

GRAPES Cross-culturally speaking, both fruits and seeds are fertility symbols. It’s no surprise then that these seeded fruits were given to newlyweds in ancient Greece in the hopes that they’d be blessed with children.

HONEY Since refined sugar was once scarce, honey may be the original symbol of a sweet life. Guests at Moroccan weddings are offered honey before the ceremony, and Indonesian couples feed each other honey as part of their vow exchange.

LOBSTER This crustacean is popular in China because its shell, when cooked, turns red, the auspicious wedding color (see this page).

NOODLES Long pasta is lucky for East Asians because the shape heralds a long life. For this reason, noodles are eaten both at weddings and at Chinese New Year banquets.

PINEAPPLE A whole pineapple has been a symbol of wealth and hospitality since explorers and missionaries brought them back to Europe and the United States from their tropical travels. Offering the delicacy to a guest was a sign of respect and welcome, which has led to pineapple-shaped door knockers and décor.

POMEGRANATES These are considered auspicious because of the sheer number of seeds they contain, signifying abundance.

RICE Whether it’s being served at dinner or tossed at newlyweds post-ceremony, this grain is meant to invite fertility (see this page).

ROE Planning a sushi station during cocktail hour? In Japan, fish eggs are a sign of many children to come.

WALNUTS Nuts, like seeds, are fertility totems. In the Mediterranean, walnuts are especially auspicious, as they break into four parts, representing the newlyweds and their families.

WHEAT In bread, crackers, and even as décor in centerpieces, this grain is a cross-cultural symbol of abundance.

WINE Not only is this beverage made of crushed fertility symbols, it’s also a sign of joy and revelry, and has been since ancient festivals for Dionysus, the Greek god of wine. Plus, when shared by the couple from a common cup during the ceremony, it represents a joint future.

CEREMONIAL SNACKS

Many cultures don’t wait until the reception to eat—some don’t even hold out for the wedding itself. Among the Iroquois, pre-wedding prep involved the bride-to-be and her mother bringing maize cakes to the home of the groom. He returned the favor by handing them venison to show that he would be a good provider.

Ritual food or drink also plays a part in many wedding ceremonies. Jewish and Orthodox Christian couples sip wine from a common cup (see this page), but in cultures where drinking alcohol is forbidden or uncommon, another beverage represents the sharing of the newlyweds’ lives: in Bangladesh, it’s borhani, a yogurt drink; in Java, it’s sweet tea. Also in Java, the couple feed each other white and yellow rice spiced with turmeric, a sign of plenty, each eating three times. Navajo couples eat from the same basket of cornmeal mush to conclude the ceremony. Among the Yoruba community in Africa, the pair perform a ritual called “tasting the elements,” sampling a wedge of lemon, a drop of vinegar, a pinch of cayenne, and a spoonful of honey to show they are prepared to experience the sour, bitter, spicy, and sweet sides of life together. In Nigeria and other parts of Africa, newlyweds exchange kola nuts after the vows, as symbols of fertility and of healing, because the nuts are often used in medicinal preparations. The exchange represents the couple’s commitment to help heal each other’s pain.

Arguably the most elaborate ritual food display in a ceremony is the Persian sofreh aghd, or “wedding spread,” which includes seven herbs and seven pastries, plus bread, cheese, and greens (for life-giving nourishment); eggs, nuts, pomegranates, grapes, and apples (for fertility); and rosewater, rock candy, and honey (for sweetness). The goodies are distributed to guests after the ceremony.

LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED

Virtually every reception incorporates the ritual of sharing food, whether in a simple toast or an elaborate bread ceremony. At a Lithuanian wedding party, the parents of the newlyweds give them bread, wine, honey, and salt, so that they will always have nourishment, joy, and sweetness, and so that their marriage will endure, as if preserved by the salt. The same symbolic elements are found all over Eastern Europe: at a Polish reception, both sets of parents sprinkle bread with salt and offer it to the couple, followed by wine; in Russia, the bride’s folks give her bread and salt as she leaves home; in Bulgaria, the groom’s mom greets the newlyweds at the party with wine and a loaf of honey-drizzled pitka (see this page). Many cultures bake special breads exclusively for weddings, such as the Polish, Russian, and Ukrainian korovai, which is covered in flowers, sheaves of wheat, lovebirds, and other lucky symbols.

The reception meal itself is a symbolic ritual, the first time the newlyweds join a community as a married couple. It’s also a chance for the hosts, whether that’s the newlyweds or their parents, to offer hospitality.

Specific dishes are synonymous with weddings. German receptions start with hochzeitssuppe, a chicken and meatball noodle soup reserved for important occasions because it takes so long to make—the name means “wedding soup.” In Korea, the wedding reception is called the kook soo sang, or “noodle banquet,” and the entrée served is janchi-guksu, or “celebration noodles.” In Japan, where red and white are wedding colors (see this page), on-palette meals are popular—red rice and white sea bream, or red tuna and white rice. Sea bream is doubly lucky because its name, tai, sounds like the word for “fortunate.” Peking duck is auspicious in China, because it’s reddish and ducks mate for life—or until they become entrées. Even leftovers can be lucky: in China, guests are given red to-go containers to bring extras home.

HAVE A DRINK

Booze is also central to many a wedding party. In a ritual called p’ye-baek, a Korean bride will serve her new in-laws dates and chestnuts, which represent children, before they pour her a drink in return, usually cheongju rice wine, or a clear alcohol called soju, as a symbol of shared joy. The parents may then throw nuts and fruit for the bride to catch in her skirt. While this ritual traditionally took place in the days after the wedding, now it is often a spirited add-on to a reception. In England, the reception was referred to as a “bride’s ale,” because ale was the beverage usually served; this nickname is thought to be the genesis of the word bridal.

Today, the signature drink at a reception is whatever the couple choose or invent—it may be a cocktail they shared on their first date, or a twist on their favorite highball, spiced with a lucky herb.

And while your honeymoon is sure to include foods of all kinds, the word itself may come from the ancient Celts, who had newlyweds spend a month alone drinking fermented mead, also known as honey wine, which was thought to promote fertility.

TAKE THE CAKE

Given the cross-cultural identification of wheat with fertility and sugar or honey with wishes for a sweet life, it shouldn’t be surprising that dessert, and especially wedding cake, is a huge part of the celebration. But there’s no need to wait for the wedding. Chinese couples announce their engagement by having the groom’s family send small cakes in red boxes stamped with the Double Happiness symbol (see this page), or the sign for five sons and two daughters, which is considered the luckiest type of family. In Japan, the bride’s family sends announcement cakes. Czech couples used to give kolache, round jam-filled pastries, as invitations—a good-luck sign because of their circle shape (see this page).

In ancient Greece, it took three days to bake a wedding cake and, after it was shared by the guests, the leftovers were crumbled over the newlyweds’ heads to bring them progeny and wealth. An ancient Roman groom would break a savory cake made of wheat (see this page) over the bride’s head to symbolize the end of her old life, before passing it out to attendees. In Scotland, this ritual was performed with oatcakes, again to invoke fertility and a break with the past—and to show the groom’s dominance over the bride, which may be why the custom died. In medieval England, guests would bring sweet buns to the wedding and stack them in a pile the couple would stand on either side of and try to kiss over; if they reach each other over the stack, they were sure to have a prosperous life.

There are competing theories as to how the tiered cake came to be. One holds that a baker in seventeenth-century France frosted a tower of sweet buns, starting a trend. The other has an eighteenth-century London baker named William Rich taking inspiration from the spires of St. Bride’s Church to create a towering confection to impress his bride. A multi-tiered marvel doesn’t have to be your default. The following desserts have been considered auspicious for centuries.

BAUMKUCHEN A round confection with a hole in the middle, reminiscent of a ring, this German honey-and-almond delicacy is made by rolling layers of batter around a large skewer and baking them on the spit. (In an example of cross-cultural pollination, baumkuchen was introduced to Japan by a German baker, and is now a popular favor at Japanese weddings.)

BRUDLAUPSKLING A Norwegian delicacy dating back to when white flour was rare, expensive, and, therefore, a real treat, this cake is actually a stack of white bread layered with cream cheese and syrup—a dream come true for the couple who loves French toast.

CROQUEMBOUCHE French wedding cakes are really pyramids of cream puffs stacked and linked by caramelized sugar. The name means “crunching in the mouth,” and while the confection is ceremoniously “cut” by the bride and groom, it’s usually plated with each guest getting three or four individual cream puffs.

FRUITCAKE This dense, alcohol-soaked delight is the classic British wedding cake; Prince William and Kate Middleton had an eight-tiered version. Traditionally, the top tier, called the “christening layer,” is saved for the baptism of the couple’s first child—a custom that works a lot better with a dense fruit cake pickled in alcohol than the airy, egg-rich white cake that is popular in the United States. Fruitcake is also popular all over the Caribbean, especially in countries that were once under British rule.

KRANSEKAKE The Danish, Norwegian, and Icelandic wedding dessert known as “wreath cake” is a cone of almond-pastry rings iced with white glaze. The hollow center of the tower may be filled with a bottle of wine or aquavit or other treats, such as chocolate candies.

KUE LAPIS SURABAYA In Indonesia, ethnic Chinese couples cut this three-layer cake, whose shape represents the ladder to success, from the bottom, not the top, to represent their climbing to great heights together. After feeding each other, the newlyweds feed cake to their parents and grandparents as a show of filial love and respect.

LOVE CAKE A Sri Lankan delicacy served at weddings and sliced and given as favors, this is made with a plethora of fertility symbols (semolina, eggs, almond essence, cashews), sweet ingredients (sugar, honey), and spice (doce de chila pumpkin preserves, cloves, cinnamon, cardamom, vanilla, and rose water).

MILLEFOGLIE A traditional Italian wedding treat that invites abundance, millefoglie gets its name from the “thousand leaves” of phyllo-like pastry that are stacked to make it. There aren’t really one thousand of them, but there is a lot of flaky goodness layered between mascarpone cream, fruit, or chocolate.

ŠAKOTIS For this Lithuanian dessert, dough is made of butter, egg whites, sugar, flour, and cream, then dripped over a rotating spit to cook. It ends up looking like a cake-colored evergreen, which makes it doubly lucky and gives it its name, meaning “branched tree” (see this page). The branches may be covered in chocolate or sugar flowers.

JUST FOR HIM

A tradition that originated in Victorian England, the groom’s cake, devoted to the man of the hour, is now more commonly seen in the Southern United States, where the custom became popular in the nineteenth century. While the most famous of all may be the armadillo-shaped, red-velvet monstrosity in the movie Steel Magnolias, a groom’s cake is usually shaped or decorated to reflect his interests; you might have a basketball for an athlete or a dinosaur for a paleontologist. The groom’s cake can be any flavor the gentleman prefers, but are often chocolate, to complement a white wedding cake. The groom gets his own cake in Bermuda, too, where it’s traditionally a pound cake frosted in gold leaf to show his wealth, and topped with the cedar sapling the pair will plant in their yard (see this page).

TOP IT OFF

A cake topper may seem like gilding the lily—how can a multi-tiered, frosted tower of sugary goodness need embellishment? But it’s definitely classic. This tradition goes back to Queen Victoria, who crowned her cake with figurines of herself and Prince Albert. But bride and groom statuettes are not your only option. In Bermuda, cakes may hold a moongate, a mini replica of the coral arches prevalent throughout the island, meant to recall the full moon. The couple often passes through a life-size moon gate while holding hands on their way to the reception to show unity and invite happiness. You could top your cake with any lucky symbol (lovebirds, say), or one that feel auspicious to you (your married monogram).

MORE IS MORE

If you’re loyal to another type of dessert, cake isn’t the only auspicious choice. Here are some cultural favorites for serving as a final course or filling a dessert buffet.

BÁNH XU XÊ This Vietnamese dessert, called “conjugal cake,” is a sticky ball of tapioca and mung beans wrapped in a banana leaf that mimics how the newlyweds will stick together. Yellow tapioca in the middle indicates the “golden heart” within each of them.

CSÖRÖGE “Angel’s wings” in Hungarian, csöröge is fried dough that has been twisted in ribbons, and topped with confectioners’ sugar.

DIPLES In Greece, these fried dough twists, whose name means doubles, are popular because each individual member of the couple is now doubled up.

FOY THONG In Thailand, the wedding dessert is foy thong, or “golden silk threads,” made from egg yolks and sugar syrup pulled into long, noodle-like strips to represent long life. Foy thong may be served on its own or as a topping for a cake.

LIAN ZI Chinese wedding feasts end with this honey-and-lotus-seed treat meant to invite both sweetness and fertility.

WANDA A popular Italian wedding dessert, this confectioners’ sugar–topped fried dough is shaped like bows to symbolize tying the knot.