We’ve finished touring the mansion within a mother’s heart. Were you surprised at the resources you found there? I hope you didn’t find the treasure house of better mothering too exhausting, or worse, too depressing. So often, when we start talking about how to become better mothers, we end up with terminal guilt.
If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, relax—you’re not alone. I’ve talked to so many mothers lately who are frustrated, depressed, guilt ridden, and dissatisfied—in their spare time.
Both moms who are employed outside the home and moms who stay home suffer from unhappiness and instability. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” said one young mother. “It just feels like something’s missing from my life.”
So often in our fast-paced world, we lose sight of who and what we are. In his book What Kids Need Most in a Dad, Tim Hansel quoted another father: “I feel so often like I’m having an identity crisis and an energy crisis at the same time. I don’t know who I am and I don’t have the energy to find out.”
Kids need a mom who knows herself and can be satisfied—even delighted—in the role or roles she plays.
Are you happy with your lot in life, or would you rather be sailing? In the next few chapters we’ll be doing just that—not sailing, but helping you get in touch with yourself and how you really feel about what you do. First, however, let’s take a quick look at the vast network of different lifestyles that make up today’s moms.
More than 50 percent of today’s moms are employed in jobs outside the home. Some mothers work outside the home because finances dictate they must. Some work away because they want to. Some would rather stay home in their job as homemaker/wife/mother. Some pursue their careers or run businesses from their homes.
Mothers come from varied backgrounds, but most of us share a common goal: We want to do a good job of mothering our kids.
In the next chapter we’ll talk about moving into a satisfied, happier life, determining your purpose, and reestablishing priorities.
In chapter 15 you’ll find valuable helps for working moms such as throwing off the yoke of guilt, helping children adjust to and accept Mom working, child-care alternatives, and sharing the load.
Chapter 16 will include helps for stay-at-home moms. We’ll discuss topics such as overcoming social pressures, how to avoid the dangers of staying home, changing times, and dealing with isolation and loneliness.
In chapter 17 we’ll talk about the seasons of a mother’s life.