Part 1: Change Your Mental Defaults
1 Four Seconds: Pause. Breathe. Course Correct.
2 Why the Pinto Blew Up: Rethink Goal Setting
3 Byron’s Real Problem: Commit to Following Through
4 My First TEDx Talk: Ditch the Urge to Be Perfect
5 It Finally Felt Like Mine: Trust Yourself First
6 Nothing Helped My Tennis Elbow: Stand Back and Do Nothing
7 Everything Is Amazing and No One Is Happy: Accept Reality. Change Expectations.
8 The Value of Drinking Tea: Make Time for Rituals
9 Before Slipping the Kayak into the Water: Prepare Every Day
10 A Lesson from My Wireless Router: Reset Yourself
11 This Is What It Feels Like to . . .: Stop Performing. Start Experiencing.
12 “I Have No Time to Think”: Invest in Unfocused Focus
13 Why I Returned My iPad: Embrace Boredom
14 Dorit’s First-Grade Classroom: Ignore the Inner Critic
15 Carlos’s Double Whammy: Reclaim Your Sweet Spot
16 House Rock Rapid: Imagine the Worst
17 Turn the Boat Toward the Wind: Be Prepared with a Process, Not a Solution
Part 2: Strengthen Your Relationships
18 A Lesson from My Mother-in-Law: Prioritize Relationships
19 The Hardest Part Is After the Speech: Show People Who You Truly Are
20 He Broke Up with Her in a Text: Don’t Let the Package Distract You from the Message
21 I Want to Be Like You When I’m Seventy-Seven: Choose to Be Inspired by People
22 A Lesson from My Mother: Refuse to Write Someone Off
23 The Inescapable Parking Ticket: Walk Away from an Argument
24 Don’t Blame the Dog: Take the Blame Instead
25 Hardware Stores Don’t Sell Milk: Learn Other People’s Rules of Engagement
26 Sophia’s First Powder Day: Meet People Where They Are
27 It Was a Long Shot: Become a Great Receiver
28 A False Start Gets You Disqualified: Empathize First. Help Them Feel Better Later.
29 It’s Not About the Shampoo: Listen for the Unspoken
30 My Best Birthday Ever: Give the Gift of Appreciation
31 Getting a Free Upgrade to First Class: Appeal to People’s Generosity
32 Why Tim Didn’t Get the Promotion: Don’t Skip Your Thank-Yous
33 No: Establish Boundaries with Others
34 Towing Our Neighbor’s Son’s Car: Ask Questions. Don’t Attack Back.
Part 3: Optimize Your Work Habits
35 Hair Salon Leadership: Keep Your Cool
36 George Washington vs. Super Bowl I: See Individuals Individually
37 Complaining with Complainers: Neutralize Negativity
38 The Training Wheels Had to Come Off: Let People Fail—or Almost Fail
39 Are You Ready to Be a Leader?: Support Others’ Success
40 Who Deserves Credit for a Great Movie?: Share the Glory
41 The Chef Who Didn’t Get It: Take Responsibility for Your Colleagues’ Work
42 I’ve Got Too Much to Do . . .: Offer to Do Other People’s Work
43 The Day the Distribution Centers Were Full: Focus on Outcome, Not Process
44 Don’t Bet on Winning the Lottery: Zero In on What Matters to the Organization
45 Ron Drones On and On: Be Helpful Instead of Nice
46 “Actually, There Is Something . . .”: Accept the Gift of Criticism
47 Crying About a Gift: Create a Safe Space for Yourself and Others
48 I Don’t Miss a Thing: Stop Checking E-mail
49 The No-PowerPoint Rule: Embrace the Informal Meeting
50 The Pea Haters Who Ate Peas Like Pea Lovers: Tell Stories to Get Others to Change
51 How Jori Lost Eighty Pounds: Forget Willpower. Restructure Your Environment.