18 May you recognize: John O’Donohue, “For Solitude,” in To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings (New York: Doubleday, 2008).
23 “The original, shimmering self”: Frederick Buechner, Telling Secrets (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2000).
24 “Before we can become who we really are”: Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island (Boston: Mariner Books, 2000).
24 “pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light”: Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander (New York: Doubleday Religion, 2009).
30 “Sins are fixations”: Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective (New York: Crossroad, 2001).
31 “No one should work with the Enneagram”: David G. Benner, The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2004).
34 “there is one quality that trumps all”: Anthony K. Tjan, “How Leaders Become Self-Aware,” Harvard Business Review, July 19, 2012, https://hbr.org/2012/07/how-leaders-become-self-aware&cm_sp=Article-_-Links-_-End%20of%20Page%20Recirculation.
35 Motorola, the Oakland A’s: Jean Seligman and Nadine Joseph, “To Find Self, Take a Number,” Newsweek, September 11, 1994, www.newsweek.com/find-self-take-number-188156.
37 “the only person who”: James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life (New York: Gotham Books, 2005).
37 “Everyone is screwed up”: Anne Lamott, Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace (New York: Riverhead, 2014).
38 “The truth will set you free”: David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (Boston: Little, Brown, 1996).
56 Eights always want to know who has the power: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Exploring the Nine Psychological Types and Their Inter-Relationships in Love and Life (Sounds True Audio Learning Course, 2005), 8 CDs or audio download, www.soundstrue.com/store/the-enneagram-3534.html.
59 Father Ronald Rolheiser describes eros: Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing: The Search for a Christian Spirituality (New York: Doubleday, 1999).
61 “Embracing our vulnerabilities”: Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2010).
65 “sweethearts of the Enneagram”: Susan Reynolds, The Everything Enneagram Book: Identify Your Type, Gain Insight into Your Personality, and Find Success in Life, Love, and Business (Avon, MA: F+W Media, 2010).
66 “one wild and precious life”: Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems (Boston: Beacon Press, 1992).
68 “Further up and further in!” C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle (New York: HarperCollins, 2001).
69 Nines can embody the idealism of Ones: Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types (New York: Bantam, 1999).
69 “The only type the Nine is not like”: Ibid.
69-71 This section draws from Eli Jaxon-Bear, From Fixation to Freedom: The Enneagram of Liberation (Bolinas, CA: Leela Foundation, 2001).
70 “Being with a Nine”: Lynette Sheppard, The Everyday Enneagram: A Personality Map for Enhancing Your Work, Love, and Life—Every Day (Petaluma, CA: Nine Points, 2000).
75 Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich story: American Experience, Clinton, 2012, Program Transcript, www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/transcript/clinton-transcript.
80 When a Nine gets sidetracked: Jaxon-Bear, From Fixation to Freedom.
92 “Before I can live with other folks”: Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird (Franklin Center, PA: Franklin Library, 1977).
92 “Miss Jean Louise?”: Ibid.
92 “With him, life was routine”: Ibid.
94 “good in the worst sense of the word”: commonly attributed to Mark Twain.
102 “20-ton shield”: Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2010).
108 “You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle”: Brené Brown, “The Power of Vulnerability,” TEDxHouston, June 2010, www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en.
127 If Twos are going to learn how to attend to their own needs: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Exploring the Nine Psychological Types and Their Inter-Relationships in Love and Life (Sounds True Audio Learning Course, 2005), 8 CDs or audio download, www.soundstrue.com/store/the-enneagram-3534.html.
133 “No man, for any considerable period”: Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter (New York: Bloom’s Literary Criticism, 2007).
135 sometimes Threes will pretend to be interested: Kathleen V. Hurley and Theodore Elliott Dobson, What’s My Type? Use the Enneagram System of Nine Personality Types to Discover Your Best Self (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991).
138 “tell the difference between loving me and loving tennis”: Andre Agassi, Open: An Autobiography (New York: Vintage Books, 2010).
140 a “Three’s heart is in their work”: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1995).
141 the saddest number on the Enneagram is an unsuccessful Three: Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective (New York: Crossroad, 2001).
152 “ruled by a hidden shame”: Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective (New York: Crossroad, 2001).
153 “irredeemable deficiency”: Beatrice M. Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge (Berkeley, CA: She Writes, 2013).
156 “the sense of alienation, their conscious search for identity”: Tom Condon, “The Nine Enneagram Styles: Type Fours,” Center for Spiritual Resources website, www.thecsr.org/resource-directory/the-nine-enneagram-styles-type-fours.
160 a push-pull dance: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Understanding Yourself and the Others in Your Life (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1991).
161 “detach without withdrawing”: Ibid.
163 avoid saying things to them like, “Why can’t you write copy like Andrew does?”: Ibid.
183 If they’re high enough on the corporate ladder: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Exploring the Nine Psychological Types and Their Inter-Relationships in Love and Life (Sounds True Audio Learning Course, 2005), 8 CDs or audio download, www.soundstrue.com/store/the-enneagram-3534.html.
185 “The ultimate goal of detachment”: David G. Benner, “Detachment and Engagement,” Dr. David G. Benner (website and blog), September 22, 2012, www.drdavidgbenner.ca/detachment-and-engagement.
192 “If everything seems to be going well”: Steven Wright, Good Reads quotes, www.goodreads.com/quotes/77987-if-everything-seems-to-be-going-well-you-have-obviously.
196 Six kids pick up small cues: Beatrice M. Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge (Berkeley, CA: She Writes, 2013).
200 Sixes have an odd tendency: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Exploring the Nine Psychological Types and Their Inter-Relationships in Love and Life (Sounds True Audio Learning Course, 2005), 8 CDs or audio download, www.soundstrue.com/store/the-enneagram-3534.html.
204 “All shall be well, and all shall be well”: Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love, ed. Grace Warrack (London: Methuen, 1901).
209 “scrawny necks, small mouths”: Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction (Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 2010).
210 “Sevens try to imagine a life where there is no Good Friday”: Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective (New York: Crossroad, 2001).
210 “I Whistle a Happy Tune”: Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein, The King and I, 1951.
215 the Epicures: Helen Palmer, The Enneagram: Exploring the Nine Psychological Types and Their Inter-Relationships in Love and Life (Sounds True Audio Learning Course, 2005), 8 CDs or audio download, www.soundstrue.com/store/the-enneagram-3534.html.
218 because they treasure their independence: Ibid.
224 “He who fears he shall suffer”: Michel de Montaigne, The Complete Essays, trans. and ed. M. A. Screech (New York: Penguin, 1993).
224 “In a world of tension”: Thomas Merton, Cistercian Life (1974; repr., Our Lady of Holy Spirit Abbey, 2001).
227 “When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited”: Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2015).
230 “For me to be a saint”: Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation (1961; repr., New York: New Directions, 2007), 31.
230 May you recognize: John O’Donohue, “For Solitude,” in To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings (New York: Doubleday, 2008).