Notes
CHAPTER 1: Single Adults
1. “Singles Now Outnumber Married People in America,” NPR, September 24, 2014. Data from Pew Research Institute (www.PRI.org).
2. Stephanie Hanes, “Singles Nation: Why So Many Americans Are Unmarried,” Christian Science Monitor, June 14, 2015 http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2015/0614/Singles-nation-Why-so-many-Americans-are-unmarried.
3. “US Divorce Rates and Statistics,” Divorce Statistics (divorcesource.com, n/d).
4. “Can Separated Couples Reconcile,” Divorce Statistics, http://www.divorcestatistics.info/can-separated-couples-reconcile.html.
5. Diann B. Elliott and Tavia Simmons, “Marital Events of Americans: 2009” (census.gov, n/d).
6. “Single Mother Statistics,” Single Mother Guide, June 1, 2015 (singlemotherguide.com).
7. Leo Buscaglia, Love (New York: Fawcett Crest, 1972), 55–56.
CHAPTER 2: This Is It
1. Dorothy Tennov, Love and Limerence (New York: Stein and Day, 1972), 142.
CHAPTER 3: Love Language #1
1. Proverbs 18:21.
2. Luke 6:38.
3. 1 John 4:19 (NKJV).
4. Proverbs 15:1.
CHAPTER 4: Love Language #2
1. Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages (Chicago: Northfield, 2015), 77.
CHAPTER 5: Love Language #3
1. See John 13:3–17.
2. Galatians 5:13.
3. Acts 20:35.
4. As quoted in Buscaglia, Love, 58.
CHAPTER 7: Love Language #5
1. Buscaglia, Love, 104.
2. Kersti Yllo and Murray A. Straus, “Interpersonal Violence among Married and Cohabiting Couples,” Family Relations 30 (1981): 343.
3. Glenn T. Stanton, Why Marriage Matters (Colorado Springs: Pinon, 1997), 53.
4. JoNel Aleccia, “‘The New Normal’: Cohabitation on the Rise, Study Finds,” NBC News, April 4, 2013, http://www.nbcnews.com/health/new-normal-cohabitation-rise-study-finds-1C9208429.
5. William G. Axinn and Arland Thornton, “The Relationship between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or Causal Influence?” Demography 29 (1992): 357–74.
6. Jan E. Stets, “The Link between Past and Present Intimate Relationships,” Journal of Family Issues 14 (1993): 236–260.
7. Edward Laumann, John Gagnon, Robert Michael, and Stuart Michaels, Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the United States (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994), table 11.12.
8. Linda G. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000), 91.
9. Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers (Chicago: Northfield, 2015), 67.
CHAPTER 9: Family
1. Exodus 20:12.
2. Ephesians 6:2–3.
CHAPTER 10: Dating Relationships—Part 1
1. Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving (1956; repr., New York: Harper Perennial Modern Classics, 2006), 1–2.
2. James 1:19.
3. Matthew 20:28.
4. Matthew 20:26.
CHAPTER 11: Dating Relationships—Part 2
1. Waite and Gallagher, The Case for Marriage, 2.
2. Genesis 2:18.
3. Genesis 2:24.
4. One exercise you and your dating partner can do together to measure your emotional intimacy is to rate the degree to which you feel each of these elements—love, respect, and appreciation—exists in your relationship. Rate each element on a scale of one to ten. Tell each other why your number was high or low. Give illustrations.
5. H. Weinstock et al, “Sexually Transmitted Diseases among American Youth,” Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health 2004 (1): 6–10; cited in the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention report “Trends in Reportable Sexually Transmitted Diseases in the United States, 2006” at http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats06/trends2006.htm.
6. Stanton, Why Marriage Matters, 34.
7. See 1 John 1:9.
8. See Ephesians 4:15, 25.
9. Kim McAlister, “The X Generation,” HR Magazine, May 1994, 21.
CHAPTER 12: They’re Not Just for Romantic Relationships
1. Matthew 5:44.
CHAPTER 13: Single with Kids
1. Angie’s story first appeared in Chapman, The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers, 229–30, from which it has been adapted.
2. Shmuel Shulman and Inge Seiffge-Krenke, Fathers and Adolescents (New York: Routledge, 1997), 97.
3. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, The 5 Love Languages of Children (Chicago: Northfield, 2012), 188.
4. Sherill and Prudence Tippins, Two of Us Make a World (New York: Holt, 1995), 56.
5. You might want to use the following: Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, “The Five Love Languages of Children Video Pack” (Nashville: Lifeway Christian Resources, 1998).
CHAPTER 14: Success
1. Tom Peters, Thriving on Chaos: Handbook for a Management Revolution (New York: Random House audio books, 1987).
2. Kevin Leman, Winning the Rat Race Without Becoming a Rat (Nashville: Nelson, 1996), 60, 99, 100.
3. Ibid., 100.
4. For more on this, see Gary Chapman and Paul White, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People (Chicago: Moody, 2012).
5. C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Macmillan, 1952), 116.
6. Matthew 5:43–44.
7. Matthew 5:45.
8. Romans 5:5.
9. Romans 5:8.
10. James S. Hewett, ed., Illustrations Unlimited (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale, 1988), 470.
11. For practical help, you may want to read Gary Chapman, God Speaks Your Love Language (Chicago: Northfield, 2009).
APPENDIX: Online Dating: Benefits, Pitfalls, and Things to Consider
1. Jeff Bercovici, “Love On The Run: The Next Revolution In Online Dating,” Forbes, February 14, 2014, http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffbercovici/2014/02/14/love-on-the-run-the-next-revolution-in-online-dating/#659b768c485f.
2. Aaron Smith, “15% of American Adults Have Used Online Dating Sites or Mobile Dating Apps,” Pew Research Center, February 11, 2016, http://www.pewinternet.org/2016/02/11/15-percent-of-american-adults-have-used-online-dating-sites-or-mobile-dating-apps/.
3. Bonny Albo, “The Most Popular Online Dating Sites,” About.com, updated April 30, 2016, http://dating.about.com/od/largestdatingsites/tp/Most-Popular-Online-Dating-Sites.htm.
4. From a study by Michael Rosenfeld, “How Couples Meet and Stay Together,” http://data.stanford.edu/hcmst; cited in Roberto A. Ferdman, “There Are Only Three Ways to Meet Anyone Anymore,” Washington Post, March 8, 2016, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-much-life-has-changed-in-one-incredible-chart-about-dating/.
5. Aaron Smith and Monica Anderson, “5 Facts about Online Dating,” Pew Research Center, February 29, 2016, http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/02/29/5-facts-about-online-dating/.
6. Data from a survey cited in Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. As reported in Anna Broadway, “How the Search for a Soulmate Went from Church Potlucks to Tinder,” Washington Post, September 4, 2015, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/09/04/how-the-search-for-a-soulmate-went-from-church-potlucks-to-tinder/?postshare=7651467212485594&tid=ss_mail.
7. Smith and Anderson, “5 Facts about Online Dating.”
8. Ibid.
9. Aaron Smith and Maeve Duggan, “Online Dating & Relationships,” Pew Research Center, October 21, 2013, http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/10/21/online-dating-relationships/.
10. Smith and Anderson, “5 Facts about Online Dating.”
11. Ibid.
12. Aaron Smith and Maeve Duggan, “Part 2: Dating Apps and Online Dating Sites,” Pew Research Center, http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/10/21/part-2-dating-apps-and-online-dating-sites/.
13. Quote from Paul Kerley, “The Graphs That Show the Search for Love Has Changed,” BBC News Magazine, February 13, 2016, http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35535424?r=1, referring to a study from James Brossard; cited in Roberto A. Ferdman, “There Are Only Three Ways to Meet Anyone Anymore,” Washington Post, March 8, 2016, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-much-life-has-changed-in-one-incredible-chart-about-dating/.
14. Smith and Duggan, “Part 2: Dating Apps and Online Dating Sites.” Research cited in Hayley Tsukayama, October 21, 2013, “How We View Online Dating,” https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/how-we-view-online-dating/2013/10/21/f3e9beec-3a0c-11e3-a94f-b58017bfee6c_story.html.
15. Harry Reis, as quoted by Susan Donaldson James, “Online Dating: Popular and Stigma Is Gone, but Don’t Pay for It,” ABC News, February 6, 2012, http://abcnews.go.com/Health/online-dating-sites-scientific-stigma/story?id=15509389.
16. Roberto Ferdman, Twitter post, January 15, 2016; from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/03/08/how-much-life-has-changed-in-one-incredible-chart-about-dating/.
17. Smith and Duggan, “Part 2: Dating Apps and Online Dating Sites.”
18. Study from Catalina L. Toma, an assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, cited in Stephanie Rosenbloom, “Love, Lies and What They Learned,” New York Times, November 12, 2011, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/fashion/online-dating-as-scientific-research.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1&, and in Meredith Danko, “11 Results from Studies About Online Dating,” Mental Floss, October 17, 2014, mentalfloss.com/article/59509/11-results-studies-about-online-dating.
19. Smith and Duggan, “Part 2: Dating Apps and Online Dating Sites.”
20. Erin Meyer, “Sexual Predators Turn to Web to Snare Victims,” Chicago Tribune, November 22, 2012, http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-11-22/news/ct-met-online-dating-20121122_1_spark-networks-true-com-online-relationship-site.