Notes

Chapter 2—Broken Chaos Detectors

1.  Christina Baldwin, Life’s Companion (New York: Bantam Books, 1991), 75.

2.  Ibid.

3.  Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Deception (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1993), 26.

4.  Ibid.

5.  Ibid., 88.

Chapter 3—They Come in All Kinds

1.  Gary Chapman, Loving Solutions (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 1998), 197.

2.  Christine Ann Lawson, Understanding the Borderline Mother (Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson, 2000), 80.

3.  Paul Meier, Don’t Let the Jerks Get the Best of You (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1993), 35.

Chapter 4—Control Freaks

1.  Paul Meier and Robert Wise, Crazy Makers (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2003), 9.

2.  Ibid., 32.

3.  Patricia Evans, Controlling People (Avon, MA: Adams Media Corporation, 2002), 184.

4.  Gary Chapman, Loving Solutions (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 1998), 102.

Chapter 5—The Big Hook: Aggressors and Egotists

1.  Albert Bernstein, Emotional Vampires (New York: McGraw Hill, 2001), 69.

2.  Ibid., 71.

3.  Ibid., 74.

4.  Ibid., 132.

5.  Patricia Evans, Controlling People (Avon, MA: Adams Media Corporation, 2002), 54.

Chapter 6—The Big Hook: Borderlines, Sufferers, and Control Freaks

1.  Marsha Linehan, Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder (New York: Guilliford Press, 1993).

2.  Gary Chapman, Loving Solutions (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 1998), 136.

3.  Randi Kreger, Stop Walking on Eggshells (Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, 2002), 84.

4.  Chapman, 137.

5.  Patricia Evans, Controlling People (Avon, MA: Adams Media Corporation, 2002), 254.

Chapter 7—The Net of Deception

1.  Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978), 62.

2.  Ibid., 63.

3.  Robert Bramson, Coping with Difficult People (New York: Ballantine Books, 1981), 96.

4.  Ibid., 135.

5.  Les Parrott, The Control Freak (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, 2000), 34.

6.  John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame That Binds You (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 1988).

7.  Albert Bernstein, Emotional Vampires (New York: McGraw Hill, 2001), 80.

8.  Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Deception (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1993), 36.

Chapter 8—Foul Bait and Other Crazy-Making Lures

1.  Randi Kreger, Stop Walking on Eggshells (Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, 2002), 57.

Chapter 9—The Powerful Bait of Irresponsibility

1.  Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1978), 36.

2.  Ibid.

3.  Gerald May, Addiction and Grace (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1988), 176.

4.  John Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1994), 79.

5.  Albert Bernstein, Emotional Vampires (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2001), 19.

6.  Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved (New York: Bantam Books, 1997), 118.

7.  Ibid., 114.

8.  Ibid., 119.

9.  Gary Chapman, Loving Solutions (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 1998), 85.

10.  Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Anger (New York: HarperPerennial, 1985), 138-39.

Chapter 10—Boundaries Deliver Freedom

1.  John Bradshaw, Homecoming (New York: Bantam Books, 1990), 8.

2.  Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier, Love Is a Choice (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989), 28.

3.  Michael Gurian, Love’s Journey (Boston: Shambhala Publications, 1995), 106.

4.  Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992), 24.

5.  Ibid., 26.

6.  Ibid., 104-5.

7.  Henri Nouwen, Here and Now (New York: Crossroads, 1994), 131.

8.  Charles Whitfield, Boundaries and Relationships (Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc., 1993), 17-38.

Chapter 11—The Freedom of Normalcy

1.  Albert Bernstein, Emotional Vampires (New York: McGraw Hill, 2001), 14.

2.  Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies (New York: Pantheon Books, 1999), 248.

3.  Nora Roberts, Blue Dahlia (New York: Jove Books, 2004), 117.

4.  Patricia Evans, Controlling People (Avon, MA: Adams Media Corporation, 2002), 40.

5.  John Bradshaw, Homecoming (New York: Bantam Books, 1990), 192-93.

6.  Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way (New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1992), 44.

7.  Ibid., 53.

Chapter 12—Total Freedom: Catch and Release

1.  Gerald May, Addiction and Grace (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco: 1988), 2.

2.  Ibid., 13.

3.  Ibid.

4.  Henry Cloud and John Townsend, God Will Make a Way (Nashville: Integrity Publishers, 2002), 198.