CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1: What Is Relationship Violence?

Emotional Abuse

Physical Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Technology Abuse

What Teens Say about Ways They Have Been Abused

Chapter 2: Dynamics of Abusive Relationships

Chapter 3: Recognizing the Warning Signs

Signs of Abuse

If Your Daughter Is Seeing a Gang Member

If Your Son or Daughter Is in a Same-Sex Relationship

Recognizing Trauma

Helping Your Teen to Recognize Warning Signs

Chapter 4: Speaking the Unspeakable: Talking to Your Teens about Sexual Violence

Teen Attitudes

Teens at Risk

Sexual Coercion

Sexting and Texting

Reproductive Coercion

Coerced Sex for Money

Effects of Sexual Abuse

What Parents Can Do

Chapter 5: What Keeps Them Together?

Why He Abuses

Why She Stays

Chapter 6: Skills for Healthy Relationships

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Skills for Sustaining Healthy Relationships

Chapter 7: Parenting for Healthy Relationships

Developmental Vulnerabilities and Strengths

Parents’ Roles

Guidelines for Conversations with Teens

Chapter 8: Teaching Teens to Be Safe

Teaching Your Teens to Protect Themselves

Chapter 9: Effects on the Family

Effects on Parents

Effects on Siblings

Chapter 10: Getting Off the Rollercoaster

Dialing Down the Drama

Gathering Information

Getting Help for Yourself

Setting Limits

Managing Your Reactions

Chapter 11: Strengthening Your Relationship with Your Teen

Accepting Teens’ Choices

Open Communication

Effective Listening

Recognizing Your Feelings

Using Your Influence as a Parent

Avoiding Power Struggles

Chapter 12: Taking Action to Intervene

Assessing the Situation

Planning for Safety

Involving Family and Friends

Chapter 13: Breaking Up

Guiding Your Teen through a Breakup

After Breaking Up

Post-Breakup Safety

Emotional Reactions after the Breakup

Chapter 14: If the Violence Stops

Committing to Change

Safety Alert

Chapter 15: Getting Help: Counseling, Schools, and the Legal System

Resources for Parents

Schools as a Resource

Chapter 16: Using the Legal System

Current Laws

Restraining Orders

Legal Resources

Stalking as a Tactic of Abuse

Chapter 17: Cultural Strengths and Challenges

Cultural Influences

Building on Cultural Strengths

Confronting Your Culture

Chapter 18: For Parents of Abusive Teens

Recognizing Abusive Behavior

When Girls Abuse

Confronting Your Teen about Abusive Behavior

Contacting the Victim of Your Teen’s Abuse

The Parent’s Emotional Rollercoaster

Seeking Support

Chapter 19: For Parents of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender Teens

What Parents Can Do

Chapter 20: Healing

Conclusion

Appendix A: Your Safety Plan Checklist

Appendix B: Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Appendix C: Guidelines for Conversations with Teens about Healthy Relationships

Resources

Notes

About the Authors