NOTES

[1] David Olson, Amy Olson-Sigg, and Peter J. Larson, The Couple Checkup (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2008), 6.

[2] Ibid.

[3] David H. Olson and Amy K. Olson, Empowering Couples: Building on Your Strengths (Minneapolis: Life Innovations, 2000).

[4] Jason S. Carroll and William J. Doherty, “Evaluating the Effectiveness of Premarital Prevention Programs: A Meta-Analytic Review of Outcome Research,” Family Relations 52, no. 2 (April 2003): 105–118.

[5] John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge, Love and War (New York: Doubleday, 2009), 18.

[6] Reb Bradley, Help for the Struggling Marriage, quoted in “What Is God’s Primary Purpose for Marriage?” http://www.familyministries.com/marriage_purpose.htm.

[7] Tim Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God (New York: Riverhead Books, 2011), 112–113.

[8] Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2000), summarized in Wendy Connell, Christian Book Summaries 4, no. 25, http://www.christianbooksummaries.com/archive.php?v=4&i=25.

[9] John Gottman, quoted in “Quotes on ‘Communication and Conflict,’” Marriage Missions International (blog), accessed November 15, 2014, http://marriagemissions.com/about-us-2/quotes-on-communication-and-conflict/.

[10] Quote by Scott Stanley, ibid.

[11] Max Lucado, 3:16: The Numbers of Hope (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007), 28.

[12] Doug Apple, “Marriage Key: Soften Your Heart,” radio transcript, May 9, 2008, in Apples of Gold (blog), accessed November 21, 2014, http://dougapple.blogspot.com/2008/05/marriage-key-soften-your-heart-apples.html.

[13] Susan Forward, When Your Lover Is a Liar (New York: HarperCollins, 1999), 92.

[14] Adapted from Lon Adams, “Do We Have to Pray Together?” in Complete Guide to the First Five Years of Marriage (Carol Stream, IL: Focus on the Family/Tyndale, 2006), 285–287.

[15] Teri K. Reisser and Paul C. Reisser, Your Spouse Isn’t the Person You Married (Carol Stream, IL: Focus on the Family/Tyndale, 2010), 29–30.

[16] Tricia Goyer, in Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Tricia Goyer, Lead Your Family Like Jesus (Carol Stream, IL: Focus on the Family/Tyndale, 2013), 169.

[17] John Piper, This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2009), 135.

[18] John Gottman, What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal (New York: Simon and Schuster, 2012), 47–48.

[19] Ibid.

[20] David Burns, Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work (Bourbon, IN: Harmony, 2010).

[21] Jason Headley, It’s Not About the Nail, YouTube, accessed November 22, 2014, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg.

[22] Adapted from Gary Smalley and John Trent, Love Is a Decision (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2001).

[23] Richard Swenson, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2004).

[24] Based on examples in Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (New York: Gotham Books, 2012).

[25] This concept originally appeared in Bill and Pam Farrel’s book, The Marriage Code (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2009).

[26] Discussion adapted from Bill Farrel and Pam Farrel, Men Are like Waffles —Women Are like Spaghetti (Eugene, OR: Harvest House, 2001), 11–13.

[27] Max Lucado, When God Whispers Your Name (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1999), 44.

[28] Scott M. Stanley et al., “Strengthening Marriages and Preventing Divorce: New Directions in Prevention Research,” Family Relations 44, no. 4 (October 1995): 392–401, http://content.csbs.utah.edu/~fan/fcs5400-6400/studentpresentation2009/04DivorceReadingStanley.pdf.

[29] John Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How to Make Yours Last (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994), 28.

[30] Dallin H. Oaks, “World Peace,” Ensign (May 1990): 71.

[31] Sabrina Beasley McDonald, “10 Surprising Ways to Increase Romance,” FamilyLife, 2008, accessed November 23, 2014, http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/romance-and-sex/10-surprising-ways-to-increase-romance#.UlNPKhaLN0U.

[32] Posting by Adrian, “Don’t Let Your ‘Hot Buttons’ Spoil Your Chances,” Lifehack.org, accessed November 15, 2014, http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/don%e2%80%99t-let-your-%e2%80%9chot-buttons%e2%80%9d-spoil-your-chances.html.

[33] Matthew D. Lieberman et al., “Subjective Responses to Emotional Stimuli During Labeling, Reappraisal, and Distraction,” Emotion 11, no. 3 (2011): 468–480, http://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/Lieberman-Emotion(2011).pdf.

[34] Adapted from Greg Smalley, Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage (New York: Howard Books, 2012), 233–234.

[35] Gary Smalley, Secrets to Lasting Love (New York: Fireside, 2000), 94–95.

[36] Gary Smalley, Making Love Last Forever (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1997), 230.

[37] Adapted from Dale Mathis and Susan Mathis, Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage (Carol Stream, IL: Focus on the Family/Tyndale, 2008), 135.

[38] Survey cited in Raina Kelley, “Expert Advice: Love by the Numbers: Your New Marriage Is Bliss —Until the Bickering over Finances Begins. How to Keep Money from Wrecking Your Home Life,” Newsweek, April 9, 2007, 48.

[39] Melanie Hicken, “How to Talk About Money Before Saying, ‘I Do,’” CNN Money, June 13, 2013, http://money.cnn.com/2013/06/13/news/money-marriage/index.html.

[40] Research cited in Benjamin Karney, “Stress Is Bad for Couples, Right?” National Council on Family Relations, NCFR.org, accessed November 15, 2014, https://www.ncfr.org/ncfr-report/focus/couples/stress-bad-couples-right.

[41] “Stress Management —Topic Overview,” Stress Management Health Center, WebMD.com, accessed November 15, 2014, http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-topic-overview.

[42] Les Parrott and Leslie Parrot, “Busyness: The Modern Disease,” eH Advice, eHarmony.com, accessed November 15, 2014, http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/busyness-the-modern-disease/#.VGgTcuktDIV.

[43] Judy Ford, quoted in Margarita Tartakovsky, “How Couples Can Help Each Other De-Stress and Improve Their Relationship,” PsychCentral.com, accessed November 15, 2014, http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-couples-can-help-each-other-de-stress-and-improve-their-relationship/0009691.

[44] Lisa A. Neff and Benjamin R. Karney, “How Does Context Affect Intimate Relationships? Linking External Stress and Cognitive Processes Within Marriage,” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 30, no. 2 (February 2004): 134–148, cited in Karney, “Stress Is Bad for Couples, Right?” https://www.ncfr.org/ncfr-report/focus/couples/stress-bad-couples-right.

[45] Lisa A. Neff and Benjamin R. Karney “Stress and Reactivity to Daily Relationship Experiences: How Stress Hinders Adaptive Processes in Marriage,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 97, no. 3 (2009): 435–450, cited in Karney, “Stress Is Bad for Couples, Right?” https://www.ncfr.org/ncfr-report/focus/couples/stress-bad-couples-right.

[46] Neff and Karney, “Stress and Reactivity to Daily Relationship Experiences,” 448.

[47] Max Lucado, 3:16: The Number of Hope (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007), 28.

[48] Judy Ford, quoted in Tartakovsky “How Couples Can Help Each Other De-Stress and Improve Their Relationship,” http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-couples-can-help-each-other-de-stress-and-improve-their-relationship/0009691.

[49] American Academy of Family Physicians, cited in “Learning to Relax,” Stress Awareness Health Education Program, accessed November 15, 2014, http://www.amerihealth.com/pdfs/custom/worksite_wellness/turnkey_programs/stress_awareness/stress_fact_sheet.pdf.

[50] Robert Barron, Heaven in Stone and Glass (New York: Crossroad, 2002).

[51] Karney, “Stress Is Bad for Couples, Right?” https://www.ncfr.org/ncfr-report/focus/couples/stress-bad-couples-right.

[52] Lisa Neff, cited in Margaret Wheeler Johnson, “11 Ways to Keep Stress from Hurting Your Marriage,” Huffington Post, August 19, 2013, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/19/11-ways-to-keep-stress-from-hurting-your-marriage_n_3756436.html.

[53] Lisa A. Neff and Elizabeth F. Broady, “Stress Resilience in Early Marriage: Can Practice Make Perfect?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 101, no. 5 (November 2011).

[54] Dr. Larry Barlow, quoted in Becky Sweat, “How Can You Manage Marriage Stress in Troubling Times?” Good News, accessed November 15, 2014, http://www.ucg.org/relationships/how-can-you-manage-marriage-stress-troubling-times/.

[55] US Census Bureau, Statistical Abstracts of the United States, 132th ed., (Washington, DC: Government Printing Office, 2012), www.census.gov.

[56] Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2000).

[57] Warren Buffett, interview by Mohnish Pabrai, 2007, quoted in Heather Koerner, “Warren Buffet on Marriage,” Boundless Blog, June 23, 2009, accessed November 25, 2014, https://community.focusonthefamily.com/b/boundless/archive/2009/06/23/warren-buffett-on-marriage.aspx.

[58] David Brooks, “The Sandra Bullock Trade,” Dallas News Opinion, Dallas Morning News, March 29, 2010, http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/latest-columns/20100331-David-Brooks-The-Sandra-Bullock-7115.ece.

[59] David Olson, Amy Olson-Sigg, and Peter J. Larson, The Couple Checkup (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2008).

[60] Ibid.