TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword
Introduction
CHAPTER 1
So It’s Over—Temporarily or Permanently
How Did I Get Here?
Why Do Marriages End?
One Person
The Leaver
The Left
Denial Isn’t Just a Place in Egypt
Clues
Game Changer
CHAPTER 2
Victim of Love: The Five Stages of Grief
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Why It’s Natural to Grieve
The Why Nots
Blocks to Healing
Emotional Boot Camp
How Grief Works Backward
CHAPTER 3
Your Swimming Pool
Refilling Your Pool
Natural Talent
Cultivating Relationships
Distractions
A New Routine
CHAPTER 4
Everyone Else
Intrigue and Gossip: What to Say and What Not to Say
Picking Sides
Losing Extended Family
Losing Couple Friends
The Pot Stickers: Those Who Stick with You
CHAPTER 5
A Shock to the System
Sleep Issues
Sexual Concerns
Not Eating
Overdoing Exercise
Crying
Falling Apart
Distraction and Loss of Focus
Unreliability
Fear and Uncertainty
Talk Talk Talk
Going to Excess
White-Hot Anger
Cussing
Shopping and Spending
Dreams and Fantasies about Your Ex
Hating Your Stuff
Pain
Wanting to Not Be Here Anymore
Return of Childhood Issues
The Dance of Guilt and Relief
CHAPTER 6
The Aftermath of an Affair
The Exit Affair
You Lied to Me
Angry, Outraged, and Indignant
Your Own Takeaway
Ignorance Is Bliss
Obsession
Crimes of Passion
Elizabeth’s Breakthrough
An Exercise to Stop Obsession
Affair Outcome
CHAPTER 7
The Divorce Process
IT Security/Spying
Divorce Lawyers
Decisions, Decisions
The Big Stuff: Things to Pay Attention to
Divorce Day
To Sum It Up
Who’s Crying Now?
Karma
CHAPTER 8
After the Divorce
Coparenting after Divorce
Developing a New Relationship with Your Ex
The Work-Around
Doing the Best You Can for Where You Are
Society’s Denial of Loss
Everyone Wants You to Move On/The Backward Compliment
Establish Your Own Turf
CHAPTER 9
How Being Single Is Different from Being Married
The Process of Individuation
Taking Off the Ring
Newfound Freedom
Rainy Days and Mondays
Epiphany
New Relationships
Why Time Is Your Friend
The First Set of Holidays
Pet: Free Terapy
Music Terapy
CHAPTER 10
Divorce Stories
CHAPTER 11
Traditional and Nontraditional Sources of Help
Counseling/Terapy
Faith and Church Resources
Divorce Recovery Groups
Not-So-Traditional Help
CHAPTER 12
A Long Road—Forgiveness and Healing
The Terrible Gift
Wrapping Up
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Endnotes