accommodator opt-out style, 42, 44–46, 49, 50, 77, 139, 140, 141, 263
accountability, 179, 200–202, 243
The Advantage (Lencioni), 215–216, 219–220
Alda, Alan, 185
alignment, 28–29, 52, 57–59, 211, 215, 219, 230–231, 256–257, 264
analysis paralysis, 231
Arthur Anderson, 10–11, 248–249
authenticity, 95, 99, 102, 128, 137, 141, 143, 167, 169–170
autonomy, desire for, 23
avoidance, 1, 23, 33–34, 39, 57, 66–68, 227, 244
See also opting out
B
Bezos, Jeff, 233
blind spots
of separators, 47
breath work, 131
bridging differences, 245
Bryant, Kobe, 197
Built To Last (Collins and Porras), 207
bullies, 163
business clarity example, 27–30
business-only focus, 227–228, 248
businesses, 206
questions about, 205
C
catch the ball, 188
change, 257
change projects, 247, 248, 252, 254
and conflict, 247
characteristics
of accommodators, 45–46, 139, 140
of separators, 47–48, 139, 140
of superstars, 43–44, 139, 140
Check It Out, 36, 151, 157–160, 158, 168, 179–180, 218, 243
check your intention, 187
collaboration, desires for, 23
Collective Creativity Paths, 3, 55, 63, 205
collective creativity, 21, 24, 72, 205, 269
collective wisdom, 68
Collins, Jim, 207
color cards, 229
communication, 207–208, 214, 234, 236–237, 249–251, 254–257, 267–268
communication binders, 249, 255
compartmentalization, 95–96, 107, 135–136
conflict, 259
and change, 247
turning towards, 244
conflict resolution, 38
control, 97–98, 99–101, 101–103
need for, 48
cooperation, 264
Covey, Steven, 181
creative breakthroughs, 2
creative solutions, 3, 24, 63–64, 127, 179
creativity, 72–74, 76, 80, 95, 128 –129, 131 –135, 147, 160, 164, 167, 169, 264
credibility, building, 58
CrisMarie, 7–11, 14, 28–29, 53, 68, 79, 127, 130–132, 141–142, 149, 152, 170–171, 176, 178, 198, 210, 213, 239, 241, 246, 248, 250, 264, 266
curiosity, 64, 68–70, 74–76, 135–138, 138, 141–143, 147, 151–152, 159, 168, 179, 185, 201, 206, 243, 266–268
See also interested curiosity
D
data, 152–155, 153–154, 157–158, 158, 192–195, 201, 231, 243
Death by Meeting (Lencioni), 223
differences, 148
discomfort, 33, 66, 129, 161, 165
and opting out, 48
disengagement, 1, 37, 77, 85, 149– 150
See also engagement
E
e-mails, 46–47, 197, 201, 241, 243, 255
emotional energy, 111, 129, 130, 132–134
emotional intelligence, 80–81, 83, 115, 125, 155, 182, 240,
emotions, 106, 111, 118, 129–134, 155–156, 188
acknowledging, 71
employee engagement scores, 1, 85, 90
empowerment, lack of, 26
engagement, 1–2, 64, 85–86, 90, 101, 140, 206, 249, 251
lack of, 37
Equus Coaching Program, 118
F
feedback, 26–28, 46, 58, 66, 79, 85, 89, 102, 171, 176–178, 192, 195, 198, 200, 202, 237
feelings, 107–108, 111, 118–119, 129, 132–134, 153, 155–156, 160, 201
fight or flight, 83
flight behaviors, 77, 78, 79–80
focus, 120–121, 213–217, 219–223, 225–227, 232–234,
Frankl, Victor, 125
G
gossip, 37, 66, 134, 147, 159, 230– 231, 256
gossip blame, 127
Groves, Andy, 230
H
habitual coping mechanisms, 23, 41, 48
head nods, 216, 226, 228–229, 232
Health & Happiness (Wong and McKeen), 134
Henry, 124
honesty, 71, 117, 169–170, 198–200
need for, 26
hopes, projecting, 209
horses, 83, 115–118, 223. 261–262
and leadership development, 80– 81, 119–120, 214, 261
How to Have a Tough Conversation at Work, 160, 168
hunger, 112
I
independence, 23
information flow, 234
information processing, 152, 153, 154
innovation, 24, 64, 91, 128, 147, 164, 245, 268, See also creativity
inspiration, 130, 147, 205, 210, 269
intentions, 48, 82, 108, 110, 153, 156–157
interested curiosity, 92, 109–110, 112–113
internal landscapes, 95, 118, 155– 156
interpersonal issues, ignoring, 26, 35–36
J
judgments, 72–75, 151–152, 160
See also opinions
K
Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth, 12–13, 252
L
leaders, 96, 101, 103–104, 118
defusing tension, 91
during a crisis, 103
fight style, 78
flight style, 79
women as, 132
challenges of, 136
leadership development programs, 111, 158
leadership styles, 78–79, 86, 97, 177
Leading and Managing Organizational Transitions, 250
leaning in, 45, 81, 83, 109, 265
Lencioni, Pat, 75, 91, 215–216, 219–220, 223
loyalty, 72, 101, 140, 222, 249
M
McKeen, Jock, 134
Managing Transitions (Bridges), 250
Man’s Search for Meaning (Frankl), 125
See also self-mastery
Mate, Gabor, 134
ME, 3, 4, 42–43, 46, 56–57, 63, 95, 96, 98, 101–105, 113, 115, 117–118, 121, 124–127, 129, 135–136, 137–140, 142–143, 167, 169, 172, 195, 205–206, 211, 216, 218–219, 227–228, 248, 261, 264, 268, 271
meetings
tools for, 223, 232, 241–246, 271
millennials, 210
modeling, 29. 56, 168, 179–180, 198, 200, 202, motivation, 67, 73, 99, 147, 151, 160, 207, 211
N
objectification, 96, 99, 100–101, 107, 211
off-site team meetings, 28–29, 52, 58, 86–87, 89, 149–151, 175– 176, 178, 191, 214, 221, 235, 260–261, 265
oh, sh*t! moments, 3, 5, 10, 12, 14, 18, 19, 21–24, 34–38, 54–55, 63, 96, 148, 261, 265–266
Olympics, compared with businesses, 197
On Death & Dying (Kubler-Ross), 252
on-site meetings, 237
onboarding, 69
one-on-one conversations, 37–38, 44, 91, 240, 264
opinions, 17, 27, 43, 45–47, 64, 70–80, 95, 130, 137–139, 151–152, 164, 181, 183–186, 188, 228, 230
See also judgments
opting in, 12, 50, 63, 64, 66–67, 81–82, 91–92, 124, 244
opting out, 33, 34–36, 63, 66–67, 139, 261
costs of, 37
nonverbal cues, 82
styles of, 42, 43–48, 49, 55, 77, 139, 140
verbal cues, 82
See also accommodators opt-out style; avoidance; separators opt-out style; superstar opt-out style
outside expectations, 107
outside-in approaches, 107
outside-in leadership approaches, 106
P
Path to Collective Creativity model, 55, 57, 257, 3
Paul, Chris, 197
personal filters, 153, 154, 154, 158
phrases, for curiosity, 75
points of view, 74
Porras, Jerry, 207
Powell, Colin, 231
Power and Strength Continuum model, 98–101
procrastination, 231
productive behaviors, 243
productivity, 67, 247, 248, 252
The Project Management Institute, 247
Q
questions
to ask yourself, 126, 169, 187
asking, 152
identifying the “why”, 211
on importance, 228
for understanding, 187
for your business, 205
R
reality, skewing, 123
reflecting back, 133, 185, 188–189, 193–194, 244–245, 249
relationships, 198
personal, 76
in teams, 71
responsibility, ways to take, 126–127
return on investment, 247, 248, 254
right-wrong trap, 17, 73, 164,
righteous attachment, 73
risk aversion, 263
round pens, 115–116, 118–119, 214
S
scapegoating, 22
self-awareness, 108, 111, 167, 214
self-mastery, 106, 108–109, 112, 168
self-responsibility, 125, 127–128
separators opt-out style, 46–48, 50, 53, 77, 139, 140, 262
signs of team conflict, 37
breaking, 165
sparks, 164
status reporting, 37, 233, 236, 240–241
stimulus, 125
stories, 152, 153–154, 155, 157– 159, 209, 256
superstar opt-out style, 42–44, 49, 50, 55–56, 77–78, 139, 140, 263
surfing, compared with self-mastery, 108
Susan, 11–14, 25–26, 35, 65, 70, 78, 80, 88, 116, 118, 161–163, 176–177, 198, 210, 214, 262
T
talking, vs. listening, 181–182
team-building activities, 58
team conflict, signs of, 37–38
team dysfunctions, 80
team norms, 175–179, 241–243, 245
teams, 240
and vulnerability, 72
teamwork, author’s experiences, 8–9
internal, 23
tolerating, 139
Three-Point Checks, 109, 111–113, 141, 157
timeframes, importance of, 220
tools
buy-in indicators, 229
importance question, 228
meeting as playing field, 227
transformation, 169, 172–173, 185
trust-building activities, 58
“two pizza rule”, 233
U
uncertainty, 99
unproductive behaviors, 175, 17– 179, 197–202, 242–243
V
valley of despair, 251, 252, 254, 257
verbal indicators, 82
See also the big why
vulnerability, 23–24, 64, 66, 68–72, 76, 97–99, 101–104, 137–138, 139, 142–143, 151, 168, 171– 172, 176, 235
expressing, 23
W
walls, 159
WE, 3, 4, 44, 56–57, 138–139, 143, 147, 148, 163, 168–169, 172, 195, 206, 218, 227, 246, 261
When the Body Says No (Mate), 134
why. See the big why wide-view clarity, 216–219, 222
Wong, Bennett, 134
Z