Contents
PREFACE: This Is Not about What You Must Do
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks for Your Help
INTRODUCTION: The Reason for This Book
Death, the Ever-Present Reality
Difference between a Funeral, a Celebration of Life, and a Memorial
CHAPTER 1: Rites of Passage in a Secular World
CHAPTER 3: Pastoral Care for the Dying Person
Is the Person Dying? How Long Will It Take?
What Is Going on with the Dying Person and Their Family?
A Positive Presence with the Dying Person
A Conversation Where There Is Little Response
Talking to the Dying Person about the Service
The Sacrament of Holy Communion (Eucharist)
A Person of Little or No Faith
How Will We Live on after Death?
Self-Care for the Worship Leader in a Pastoral Role
CHAPTER 4: At the Time of Death and After
When the Pastoral Caregiver Is Not Present at Time of Death
Contact with the Funeral Home When the Pastoral Caregiver Is Not Present
Contact with the Faith Community/Church (your own)
Contact with the Faith Community/Church (not your own)
CHAPTER 6: Response to Wishes of the Person Who Has Died
CHAPTER 7: Changing Roles of Worship Leader and Funeral Director
Worship Leader as Funeral Coordinator
Role of the Worship Leader (other location)
CHAPTER 8: Concerning the Family
Family Feelings about the Death
Pastoral Care to the Grieving Family
CHAPTER 11: Children and Their Grief
CHAPTER 12: Speaking about the Deceased
CHAPTER 13: Before the Service
Pre-funeral Gathering (Visitation)
Skype or Streamed in Real Time
CHAPTER 14: What Makes for a Good Funeral?
Scripture and Secular Readings
Needs of Those with No Faith Community
Moving Away from Golden Oldies
CHAPTER 15: Post-funeral Pastoral Care
Faith Community and Spiritual Care
CHAPTER 16: Other Cultures, Other Faiths
Newcomers from Africa and Asia
CHAPTER 17: The Funeral or Life Celebration Service
2. Accidental Death of a Child
3. Celebration of Life (non-religious)
6. Older Man of Faith (years of dementia)
8. A Person Who Took Her Own Life
9. A Person Who Took Her Own Life (2)
10. Older Woman (faith background)
11. Older Man (the “right time” to die)
12. Older Woman (faith community member)
16. Celebrating the Life of a Fisher (non-religious)
17. Celebrating the Life of an Artist (non-religious)
18. A Faithful Life with Many Changes
19. A Gifted, Challenged Person
20. A Respected Family Person (not churchgoer)
Worship Leader’s Checklist (own church)
Usher’s/Funeral Service Helper’s Checklist
Worship Leader’s Checklist (other location)
Love Crosses the Gulf between the Generations
Journey of Life (traditional Hebrew prayer)
If I Should Go Before the Rest of You
Grief Is a Process, Recovering Is Your Choice
Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night