The page references in this index correspond to the print edition from which this ebook was created, and clicking on them will take you to the the location in the ebook where the equivalent print page would begin. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
abuse
see also sexual abuse
owning your body 166–7
owning your shit 158–63
accountability 296, 306–7, 309
Adele 10
adulting 263–6
Allen, David 85
Altucher, James 82
amplification 209
amygdala 186–7
Angelou, Maya 218
Anxiety Solution, The 40, 44, 52, 109, 260, 296
apologizing 102–5
asking 218–21
at work 222–31
for what you want 248–9
practising 252
Avarard, Michelle 180
badass women 219
Bandler, Richard 197
Barbour, Araminta 83
Barrymore, Drew 167
Bates, Laura 98
Bayard, Herbert 78
Beard, Mary 193
beliefs see negative beliefs
belonging 31
Bennet, Jessica 176
bitches 219
bitchiness 66
black and white thinking 36, 60
blaming 246–7
body language 209
Bohns, Vanessa 82
see also saying no
Brady, Gemma 274–5
brain
mirror neurons 196
plasticity 14
sleep 297–8
Branson, Richard 44
motivation to change 15–7
Brown, Brené 147, 156, 233, 276
Buffett, Warren 88
Cain, Susan 260–61
Caldwell, Caroline 164
Canfield, Jack 113
Chanel, Coco 175
motivation 15–7
childhood experiences 22
and confidence 7–9
good girl behaviours 76–8, 81, 109–10
and negative beliefs 26–34
and people pleasing 79
and perfectionism 123
and shame 142, 144–7, 150, 151–2
classical conditioning 186
Clinton, Hillary 42
Clooney, Amal 197
Cloud, Henry 70
coaching 212
Comfort, Stretch, Panic 184–6
communication 244
in the bedroom 249–51
non-violent communication 211, 236, 245–9, 253
compassion
giving feedback 211–2
see also self-compassion
compliments 48–51
asking for what you want 218–21
asking for what you want at work 222–31
and attractiveness 167
be the real you 276–7
body language 209
and childhood experiences 7–9
communicating your needs 244–53
conflict 232–40
the courage to be criticized 191–5
developing 12–3
focus on the present moment 182–3
how to find your voice 175–83
how to talk to anyone 267–9
motivation to change 15–7
public speaking 201–6
put your adult in charge 263–6
retrain your brain 184–90
role models 196–200
social confidence 254–62
standing up for what’s right 241–3
thinking positively 136
women 4–5
confirmation bias 38
being clear 233–4
confronting yourself 237
getting set up 234–5
reframing 235–6
responding to rude people 237–40
strategies for handling 236–7
connection 155–6
sharing circles 273–5
social confidence 254–62
conversation starters 267–9
Covey, Stephen 85–6
Cox, Tracey 249–50
Cuddy, Amy 192–3
David, Susan 286
Deloitte 224
Dewhurst, Charlotte 235–6
difficult conversations see confrontation
discrimination 241–3
dissociation 178
Do, Be, Have goals 305
Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report 6, 7
Duffield-Thomas, Denise 305
ego 178–80
emotional boundaries 74
emotions
naming and taming 286–8
processing 154–5
see also feelings
as an option 131–7
on purpose 129
of public speaking 201
of success 117–21
feedback 207
giving 210–12
feelings
expressing 246–7
see also emotions
Feelings Wheel 287–8
financial boundaries 74
flexible working 224–6
Ford, Debbie 141
Ford, Henry 293
Freud, Sigmund 154
friends 277–80
saying no to 96
Gaga, Lady 131
generalizations 36
Gilbert, Liz 135
Gilman, Sarri 93
goals
setting and going for 293–302
stop thinking, start doing 303–9
good girl behaviours 76–8, 81, 109–10
Grinder, John 197
growth mindset 14–5
happiness, and perfection 125, 127, 130
Hari, Johann 155–6
Hathaway, Anne 193
Hendel, Hilary Jacobs 154–5
Hendriksen, Ellen 276
Hesse, Hermann 160
Hicks, Abraham 191
Hubbard, Elbert 90
being vulnerable is beautiful 134–5
embrace the mess 127–8
owning your shit 158–63
inner critic 52–5
judgement 64
see also self-talk
interrupting 207–8
introverts 260–61
confidence strategies 261–2
jumping to conclusions 35–6
Kabir, Homaira 110
Kaling, Mindy 44
kindness see compassion
Lahey, Jessica 131
Lawrence, Jennifer 135
lizard brain 186–7
manifesting 296
massages 170–71
Mathews, Andrea 68
meditations
the future you 257
handing over your unwanted baggage 24
lost time meditation 83–4
mindfulness 183
step into your role model’s shoes 199–200
micro-aggressions 241–2
mind-reading 35–6
mindfulness 183
mirror neurons 196
mission statements 17
Moana 197
Monroe, Marilyn 131
Morgan, Kim 43–4
mutual admiration 45
negative beliefs 26–34
body 166
setting goals 301–2
negativity bias 37
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) modelling 197
non-violent communication (NVC) 245–9, 253
confrontation 236
feedback 211
Obama, Michelle 207
Oliver, Mary 169
owning your shit 158–63, 216, 235
parasympathetic nervous system 203
Paul, Caroline 12
Pavlov’s dogs 186
pay gap 223–4
people pleasing 4, 21–5, 78–81
compassion fatigue 94
and good girl behaviours 76–8
and saying no 93–5
setting boundaries 68–70
perfectionism 59–63, 122–4, 130
and acceptance 128
lowering your standards 124–5
and progress 135–6
Perry, Katy 131
personalization 37
Peterson, Jordan 234
phone boundaries 73
praise list 216
Pratfall Effect 134
progress 135–6
projection 35
public speaking 16, 52–3, 201, 206, 207
giving feedback 210–12
interrupting 207–8
receiving feedback 213–6
techniques 202–6
readiness 125
changing the story 112–6
reframes 110–12
reptilian brain see lizard brain
resilience 281–5
resilience-building experiment 291
rest-and-digest system 203
Rihanna 11
Rizzolatti, Giacomo 196
Robbins, Mel 10
Robbins, Tony 132
Rohnke, Karl 184
Rosenberg, Marshall 245
Rowling, J. K. 131
rudeness 237–40
Rushworth, Amy 279
five keys 89–90
lack of romantic interest 97
lost time meditation 83–4
over-explaining 90–91
overcoming guilt 93–5
own your choices 100
to family members 96
to friends and loved ones 92–3, 96
to people asking for free help 96–7
to sex 98–9
to unwanted advances 97–8
to your boss 95
worst case scenario 86–8
self-acceptance see acceptance
self-care 289–92
self-compassion
imposter syndrome 46
moving out of your comfort zone 189
receiving feedback 216
self-employment 229–31
self-esteem 5
and body image 6
and compliments 48–9
and people pleasing 79
setting boundaries 73
self-judgement 61
see also inner critic
sex
getting your needs met 249–51
saying no 98–9
Sex and the City 116
sexual boundaries 73
Shaggy 158
and guilt 143–4
healing 151–7
triggers 148–9
where it comes from 144–7, 150
Shapira, Allison 210
Sharapova, Maria 113
sharing circles 273–5
shoulds and musts 37
shyness 261
and ego 178–80
Simmons, Rachel 77
Sivers, Derek 84
sleep 297–8
boundaries 73
Snyder, Kieran 208
social confidence 254–62
fake it till you become it 265–6
make the first move 264–5
social media 278
sound therapy 179–81
speaking up 175–83
standing up for what’s right 241–3
Streep, Meryl 40
define your own version 304–5
Sznycer, Daniel 143
tall poppy syndrome 193–5
Targaryen, Daenerys 197
Teigen, Chrissy 135
thinking errors 35–9
Tipping, Colin 160
Transactional Analysis 264
Van Edwards, Vanessa 267
Van Gogh, Vincent 303
visualization 205–6
vocal fry 210
vulva 168
Ware, Bronnie 88
warmth 192–3
West, Kanye 208
Whitmore, John 212
‘Wild Geese’ (Oliver) 169
Williams, Serena 197
Williams, Venus 254
Winfrey, Oprah 109, 131, 197, 207
Winslet, Kate 40
women
body image 5–7
confidence 4–5
from bitch to badass 219
good girl behaviours 76–8, 109–10
judgement 65–6
likeability 42
pay gap 223–4
perfectionism 59
pressures and challenges 3–5, 9
self-esteem 5
speaking up 176
warmth and strength 192–3
work
asking for what you want 222–31
flexible working 224–6
pay gap 223–4
pay raises 227–9
saying no 95
working for free 229–31
Yousafzai, Malala 197