Contents

 

 

Resources by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Copyright

Acknowledgments7

Introduction: Who Threw the Switch?9

PART ONE

Be a Parent with Boundaries

     1.   Revisit Your Own Adolescence21

     2.   Be a Boundary29

     3.   Get Connected33

     4.   Face Your Guilt and Fear39

     5.   Be United in Your Parenting45

     6.   Be an Integrated Parent49

     7.   For Single Parents55

     8.   For Stepparents61

PART TWO

Understand the Teenage World

     9.   Adolescence: The Last Step before Adulthood69

    10.   A Period of Tremendous Change75

    11.   Teens Think Differently79

    12.   Separating from Parents83

    13.   From Earthly to Eternal Parent91

    14.   Understanding the Differences between Boys and Girls95

    15.   The Influence of Culture99

PART THREE

Set Boundaries with Your Teen

    16.   Dig beneath Your Teen’s Problem107

    17.   Use the Four Anchors of Boundary Setting113

    18.   Don’t Get Derailed121

    19.   Consequences 101131

PART FOUR

Address Common Problems

    20.   Academic Problems143

    21.   Aggressive Behavior149

    22.   Alcohol, Drugs, and Dependencies155

    23.   Argumentativeness161

    24.   Breaking Agreements167

    25.   Chores171

    26.   Clothing175

    27.   Curfew Violations179

    28.   Cutting and Self-Mutilation183

    29.   Deception and Lying187

    30.   Defiance191

    31.   Detaching from the Family in Unhealthy Ways195

    32.   Disrespect199

    33.   Driving and Cars205

    34.   God and Spirituality209

    35.   Ignoring Parents213

    36.   Impulsive Behaviors217

    37.   Internet223

    38.   Money227

    39.   Moodiness231

    40.   Parties237

    41.   Peers243

    42.   Phone249

    43.   Runaways253

    44.   Sexual Involvement259

    45.   Silence265

Epilogue269

Appendix A: Seeking the Help of a Professional273

Appendix B: Tips for When You Don’t Know What to Do275

Notes277

About the Author280

About the Publisher281