INDEX OF FIRST LINES

1 a.m. 119

1 Get out of bed early and frequently. 92

1. Whistle a tune your father whistled 211

3 a.m. Feeling like death 350

a cat mistrusts the sun 212

A day off for you to recover from jetlag 274

A genetic scientist 279

A grandpiano of a woman is Aunty Dora. 133

A littlebit of heaven fell 54

A man mountain 136

A mayfly blinks 379

A more talented footballer 150

A nice day for breakfast outside. Well-practised, 355

a pinta makes a man 34

A poet of little repute 284

A shot rang out. The bullet was not intended for me. 299

A task completed everyday 184

After knocking ’em dead at the College of Ed. 119

After supper, we move out on to the veranda. 240

after the battle of the Incriminating Loveletter 88

after the merrymaking, 33

After the pantomime, carrying you back to the car 395

Alan’s had his thingies done. You know, down there. 366

Albert Robinson 131

Alf 141

All night 118

‘Along Leadladen Street 226

America’s the land of milk and honey 38

An old man walks into his local newsagents 286

and Cardiffs a tart with a heart of gold. 122

and you still havent ironed 87

Angelina 138

Approaching midnight and the mezze unfinished 248

As every bandage dreams 266

As soon as my voice is heard above the babble 286

As the cold winter evenings drew near 7

As you can imagine, a man in my position 238

at 7.55 this morning 90

At a publishing party in Bedford Square 305

at first 87

At first, picture postcards 96

At five o’clock our time a killer was fried 339

at the goingdown of the sun 51

At university, how that artful question embarrassed me. 16

August in Devon and all is rain. A soft rain 281

Aunt Agatha 143

Aunt Ermintrude 134

Aunty Ann 151

Aunty Marge, 7

Auschwitz with H and C 114

Barry Bungee 146

Be he moth 215

Bees cannot fly, scientists have proved it. 334

Believe me when I tell you that 267

Beside the willowed river bank 292

Beware January, 254

Big Arth from Penarth 149

Billy our Kid 135

Blessed are the children and happy the spouses 386

Blood is an acquired taste 163

blue sierra 362

Chaos ruled OK in the classroom 195

Cliff faces do not like the word ‘sheer’ 226

Come in and welcome. You’re the first. 289

Conservative Government. 182

Cousin Caroline 130

Cousin Chas 132

Cousin Christ (né Derek) 147

Cousin Daisy’s 154

Cousin Fiona 148

Cousin Fosbury 143

Cousin Horatio 140

Cousin Nell 155

Cousin Reggie 137

Cyanide in the forest 222

Dark clouds. The fresh smell of new rain. The soft hiss 222

‘Dear Lonely Hearts, 137

Dear Satoshi, 236

Discretion is the better part of Valerie 36

Do people who wave at trains 170

Don’t give your rocking-horse 177

Don’t worry 40

Don’t worry, I’ll do it for you 358

Down first for breakfast 122

Downstairs, Neptune taming the sea-horses, let us descend. 310

Drink wine 349

During dinner the table caught fire. 275

Each year, in early December 20

Elmer Hoover 153

Entranced, he listens to salty tales 311

Everyday 355

everyevening after tea 4

Fe fi fo fum 373

Feeling a trifle smug after breaking off an untidy, 298

For one magical moment you imagine 227

For years there have been no fish in the lake 221

Friday came the news. 259

From the first 314

from the ground 171

Georgie Jennings was spit almighty. 25

Getting on at Notting Hill 113

Girls are simply the prettiest things 44

God bless all policemen 109

Going in to bat 130

Got up 350

Grandma 127

Granny plays whist 137

Gravity is one of the oldest tricks in the book. 389

Half-term holiday, family away 342

Halfway up the mountain it stops. Slips back. 387

harvesttime 206

Have you heard the latest scandal 256

He can sing and dance 263

He is neither big nor strong 396

He wakes when the sun rises 246

He was a filmmaker with a capital F. 301

He was a poet he was. 300

He was lying there, so I… er 243

Head down and it’s into the hangover. 345

Here I am 336

Here is a poem for the two of us to play. 308

‘HE’S BEHIND YER!’ 197

He’s there everyday on the corner, 355

His love life is one of fits and starts 269

His poems are nets 282

His sister Alfreda 142

Humphrey Bogart died of it 204

I am 314

I am an atom of carbon 372

I am distinctly 337

I am the very air 371

I am waiting in the corridor 16

I asked my lady what she did 260

I assume that the fire started before 353

I closed my eyes, held my breath 362

‘ I concur 258

I could never begin a poem: ‘When I am dead’ 302

I do not smile because I am happy. 100

I don’t believe that one about the butterfly – 228

I don’t drive, I’m afraid. 302

I don’t like the poems they’re making me write 304

I explain quietly. You 95

I felt dirty having to write this poem 304

I forsake dusty springfield 45

I go home by train 295

i go to bed early 162

i go to sleep on all fours 90

I had never considered cats 279

i have a photograph of you 29

I have a problem with Bath. 272

I have always enjoyed the company of extroverts. 340

I have enough jackets and trousers 361

I have old-fashioned values 239

I have outlived 169

I have this fear: 341

I join the queue 341

I lack amongst other things a keen sense of smell. 343

I like liposuction, I’ve had my lipo sucked. 370

I like my isolation 343

I love the way he uses words 289

i once met a man 256

i own a solarium 361

i remember your hands 30

I repose at great speed 375

I started smoking young. The Big C 363

I still have the blue beret that JFK 296

I wanna be the leader 183

I want to write a new poem. 284

i wanted one life 90

I was forever hearing about the sacrifices 18

I was in a room with the tallest man in Britain 264

I was waiting in the corridor 16

I went to the mirror 101

iceflow sighted 172

If I were a boat I’d steer to you 265

If they held Olympic contests 138

I’m a romantic. 267

I’m an ordinary feller six days of the week 157

I’m in at the Health Club 338

I’m not a colour 377

I’m not real gold 378

I’m Shirley, she’s Mary. 126

I’m sorry, God, I cannot love 215

I’m what gets witches 376

in a corner of my bedroom 45

In a dawn raid 172

in bed 161

in bed 167

In Bristol, to escape the drizzle 271

In case of FIRE break glass 352

In Flanders fields in Northern France 50

In my fallout shelter I have enough food 53

In no way am I trying to lay claim 383

In Parliament, the Minister 181

In the Antarctic, an ice-shelf 227

In the Art Gallery 309

In the Art Gallery it is nearly 309

in the no mans land 120

in the staffroom 201

IN THE TIME… 252

increasingly oftennow 40

Insanity left him when he needed it most 5

Intercede for us dear saint we beseech thee 351

Into the world of the red glass bus 179

Is my team playing 158

it can’t just end like this 89

It ended in Uttar Pradesh. 388

It gives me no pleasure to say this 293

It hangs from the ceiling, 367

It is a lovely morning, what with the sun, etc. 334

it is afterwards 30

It is the end of summer 251

It is unusual to find me here, in town. 234

It occurred first to the lemon-haired manatee 231

It seems unlikely now 169

It was in Kalgoorlie last year, late one afternoon 363

it wouldn’t be wise to go away together 97

It’s a joy to be old. 329

‘It’s all bad. 283

It’s all over. 93

‘It’s like bashing your head against a brick wall,’ 17

‘It’s snowing down south,’ one girl would say 26

It’s snowing out 110

Jogging around Barnes Common one April morning 210

John in the garden 314

Jugglers, as you can imagine, 385

Just passing. I spot you through the railings. 394

Kenya 288

Kung Fu Lee 131

last Wednesday 91

Last week 337

Last year 139

Learning to read during the war 1

Let me die a youngman’s death 60

Life is a hospital ward, and the beds we are put in 368

Light rain, like steam 273

‘Look quickly!’ said the stranger 199

Looks quite pretty lying there 32

lying in bed ofa weekdaymorning 85

Merve the Swerve 139

middle aged 95

Mind, how you go! 124

Monster cooling towers stand guard 117

Most weekends, starting in the spring 208

mother the wardrobe is full of infantrymen 57

Mother, there’s a strange man 56

My Aunty Jean 258

My busconductor tells me 177

My wife is such a light sleeper 240

Neat-haired and 312

Never hangglide 146

New brooms sweep clean 359

new dead flowers in 102

No, I’d rather stand, thank you. Sorry it’s so late 198

No, the candle is not crying, it cannot feel pain. 396

No. 12 a long room built under the eaves. Tri- 121

‘Not to put too fine a point on it,’ 351

Nothing ventured 330

‘O’ is for Oxygen 371

O Lord on thy new Liverpool address 159

ofa Sunday 168

Oh, what dreadful timing! It couldn’t have been worse! 59

Old Mac, seventyodd 144

On arriving at the theatre in good time there was no queue 312

On leaving the house you’d best say a prayer 354

On Monday next 182

On the edge of the jumping-off place I stood 389

On the eleventh morning 228

On the train from Bangor to Crewe 293

ONCE I LIVED IN CAPITALS 168

One evening while the family were at vespers 229

One morning as you step out of the bath 335

One of those poems you write in a pub 299

One son at each corner 394

only trouble with 315

Ossie Edwards couldn’t punch a hole in a wet echo. 23

Out of my depth at the cocktail party 342

Out of the wood 329

out of work 347

Owing to an increase 182

P.C. Plod had just come off point duty in Yates Wine Lodge 112

Patrick was always taller. 310

Patriots are a bit nuts in the head 51

Paul has probably forgotten about the incident by now 382

‘Perfick,’ said Old Larkin 291

Poems in which the title is, in fact, the opening line. 305

Poets make awful acrobats. 297

‘Quiet tonight’ 111

Saris billow in the wind like dhows off the shore 115

Sergeant Lerge put down his knife and fork 110

She is as beautiful as bustickets 178

She spends her life 259

Show me a salad 214

Sincere apologies, too late I know, for not getting engaged 26

snow crackles underfoot 199

snowman in a field 315

So you think it’s Stephen? 252

Some years ago the Rot set in. 99

Somenights 38

Sometimes 43

Sometimes I wish I was back in Nicosia 245

Sometimes they trap me 285

Spare a thought for your grandmother 22

spiders are holding their wintersports 115

Spring again. 213

Stinging in the rain I’m 225

Stoned and lonely in the union bar 124

Stop all the cars, cut off the ignition 224

‘Take a poem, Miss Smith. 276

Taking a break from recording at Olympic Studios 384

Taking tea in front of the White House. 174

talking 173

Teach me, o Lord, to be permissive 35

‘Tell us a story Grandad’ 327

That’s me on the left. 12

The Act of Love lies somewhere 33

the baby 86

The beautiful girl 265

The bus I often took as a boy to visit an aunt 250

The contractions are coming faster now. 392

The cord of my new dressing-gown 1

The Countess 296

The countryside must be preserved! 213

The cover of this book is yellow 307

The crocodile said to the cockatoo: 216

The evening lay before us 42

The finger 346

The Grand Old Duke of Wellington 262

The hamburger flipped across the face of the bun 356

The Hon. Nicholas Frayn 150

The husk may crack 362

The littlegirl 175

the littleman 180

The man was sick. He had a history 232

The Mandarin Hotel, Jakarta. 344

The oldman in the cripplechair 13

The politicians 52

The Queen came up to Liverpool 83

The scarecrow is a scarey crow 207

The shy girl at the party 28

The sun no longer loves me. 43

The sword-swallower 93

‘The trouble with snowmen,’ 391

The wind is howling, 94

The world is the perfect place to be born into. 335

there are 202

There be none of Beauty’s daughters 262

There was a knock on the door. 203

There was a porter 255

There were no ‘gays’ in those days, only ‘funny’ men. 19

There’s always someone who spoils things, isn’t there? 237

there’s not a one 27

There’s something sad 174

They bought the horse 175

They don’t fuck you up, your mum and dad 291

they say the sun shone now and again 63

‘They’ve struck again,’ said Mrs Noah, disconsolate. 230

Things are so bad 358

This duck walked into a pub 209

This havy volum is a must for popl who lik potry. 303

This icy winter’s morning 330

This is a serious poem 297

This is the water 196

This morning 349

This morning 352

thismorning 44

Three weeks ago we decided to go our separate ways 98

To be a sumo wrestler 145

To ease us 283

To set the scene: A cave 288

To the mourners round his deathbed 313

today 360

Today is not a day for adultery. 269

Tonight will be an ordinary poetry reading 277

Tonight, young wife lying naked 316

towards the end of his tether 4

Train-spotting 128

Trees cannot name the seasons 212

Two a.m. 349

Unable to sleep 167

Uncle Anthony 130

Uncle Bram 134

Uncle Harry was a widower 257

Uncle Jack 139

Uncle Jason, an ace in the Royal Flying Corps 147

Uncle Jed 154

Uncle Len 152

Uncle Leo’s sole ambition 152

Uncle Malcolm 127

Uncle Mork 129

Uncle Trevor and Aunty Penny 140

Up against the wall 386

Used to drink Pernod 348

Vegetarians are cruel, unthinking people. 202

Volunteering at seventeen, Uncle Joe 2

W.P.C. Marjorie Cox 261

Wait until Akela is out of the room 19

Wandering lost and lonely in Bologna 270

Watching the video last night was good. 198

We fall to the earth like leaves 390

We haven’t spoken to him since that evening. 233

We keep our noses clean, my friend and i, 360

We live a simple life 96

We open on a frozen river 287

We sit in front of the wireless 88

We were drafted into the same unit 85

‘Well doctor, what do you think?’ 272

Well, it’s been a disappointing day 369

Well, she was asking for it. 242

We’re a five-car family 223

we’ve ignored eachother for a long time 205

What benign stroke of fate took Bob Dylan 381

What do I do for a living? Survive. 187

What happened to Harry Townsend that summer 11

What I admire most about days 333

What I love about everyday 357

What I love about night 160

What I wouldn’t give for a nine to five. 125

what prevents a poem 315

When granny was young she was famous for her teeth. 23

When i came to live with you 91

when i fly 164

When I was a boy (cue Brass Band) 21

When I was a lad 6

When I was kneehigh to a tabletop 3

When I was thirteen and crimping my first quiff 15

When people ask: ‘How are you?’ 367

When the bus stopped suddenly 58

when you said you loved me 39

When you starred in my play 86

Whenever I went into our local library 13

Whenever my sons call round we hug each other. 393

‘Where do you get your ideas from?’ 278

Where I live is posh 241

Where I live is shite 241

Where would we be without worry? 358

Wherever night falls 334

Who are these men who would do you harm? 395

Who was the naughty girl I saw combing her hair with a bluebell 37

Why can’t I teach Creative Writing in Minnesota? 273

Why can’t the poor have the decency 183

Wild Bill Sitting Bull 135

With a rainbow under your arm 29

Woke up this morning with a limp. 365

yesterday 28

you always were a strange girl now weren’t you? 41

You are his repartee. 246

You are strangely excited 271

you are the cat’s paw 46

You came to watch me playing cricket once. 14

‘You look like the wreck of the Hesperus 200

You must remember this 10

‘You’ll soon grow into it,’ she would say 18

Your duck’s arse 338

Your husband upped and left you 294